I was so excited on Monday to relay the story of Retail Boy that I completely forgot that other asshole. While hanging out with my neighbor on Saturday, she told me about her last conversation with her ex. This guy.. The one who told her he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and then eight hours later told her, "I can't see you anymore."
It turns out that he never loved her in the eight months that they were dating. He said that he tried to convince himself that he was but he wasn't really. He just decided that it was easier to keep the status quo than to say anything. Also, he kind of liked the sex.
Apparently this guy also has really bad credit. During the time that they were dating, she allowed him to run up hundreds of dollars on her credit card. (She obviously never watches Judge Mathis or else she would know better than to do this. Aren't the majority of the cases on that show about someone suing an ex over a credit card or cell phone bill?) So now she is stuck with a credit card bill that he probably will never pay.
She finds it funny that he decided to dump her at the end of the week during which he finally became financially solvent. (I question whether he was really solvent if he still owes for the credit card charges.) She asked him, "So you were just using me for sex and money?" He admitted that that was probably the case. What a winner. I just hope that she has learned from this mistake.
**********
Completely unrelated is this site. A friend sent me a link to it on Monday because they have a page dedicated to what to do if your child is born on June 6, 2006. Now that was entertaining on its own but I really liked the part on feminine hygiene products. (You can get there by clicking on "Beliefs" and then reading the "General Rules.") Also, do not skip the section where they post the emails they have received. I think they are the winners for "Strangest Website I've Ever Seen."
And apparently, God does not exist.
Oh, and the cult is showing up to my workplace at lunch today. You know I am so there because I have something like 20 pounds to lose. Y'all do realize that is a joke, don't you? And to those of you who are really trying to lose weight, I am with you in spirit. Just like I am with the Bloggers with Biceps in spirit. But hey! I just don't feel the need to go to the gym since I walk a little over two miles per day just going to and from work. And with that, I am going to spend the day drooling at all of the fattening stuff in the vending machine because payday isn't until tomorrow and I'm pretty broke.
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
Monday, June 5, 2006
They never go away quietly
Before all of the family drama on Friday, I received a text message. "I don't like the way that things ended." This would be from retail boy. I chose to ignore the message. It had been two weeks since I had last spoken to him. You know. If you don't respond, maybe it will all go away.
Saturday after working and running errands, I was ready to go out. I needed to say goodbye to my bartender before his trip. I managed to talk my neighbor into joining me for one drink. She had something called "Key Lime Pie" that she declared was so tasty, she wanted to crawl into the glass. I told her about the text message. She said, "You know he's going to show up here tonight because he knows that you will be here." I told her that I just didn't think that would happen. Within five minutes after she left, retail boy showed up. Fortunately, I was at the opposite end of the bar and could hide.
Later in the evening, my bar friend showed up. (She told her ex who joined us for a bit and had asked how we knew each other that we were not barflies; we were butterflies.) She was freaked out because she was supposed to be flying home on Sunday and had not heard from her ride to the airport. I volunteered to take her.
Things were going smoothly until I went to join her outside for a cigarette. Who should she start talking to but retail boy? He told me that I never gave him a chance before dumping him. (See the connection to the previous post?) I broke down every way that he had pissed me off that night -- demanding food, taking over the TV, turning on the fan when it was cold. I told him that I felt like my space had been invaded and as he had pointed out that evening, we weren't even dating. He said just because he pissed me off one evening was no reason to get rid of him. I explained that it was more than one evening.
Now there's nothing wrong with working retail, but at age 35 there should be more to your life than retail sales. At least that's my opinion so I asked him about his goals. He got defensive and asked, "Are you talking financial?" I said it was partially that. He then said that he would like to one day be a dad. I asked if he thought he was prepared for that at this point in his life. He admitted that his current job was not conducive to raising a family but that he had ambition. Then came my favorite line. "Everyone I know is always saying how I have lots of ambition." That's when I let him have it. I told him that he liked to start statements with "Everyone I know..." implying that I am the only one not seeing it. I explained that if I have to ask the question, then it isn't that obvious. I also told him that when he makes statements like that, it's like the equivalent of saying, "You're just an idiot." With that said, I walked away.
A few minutes later, he came and found me. He told me that he had never thought about how someone else might interpret his statements and that I was right. (Well, I always knew that. Sheesh.) He then went on about how wonderful I am. (I knew that too.) Then he left.
Later in the evening, I received two more text messages. Something along the lines of "I want you." I could give you the exact words but I'm too lazy to go get my phone. Yes, I have the messages saved because I may need a good laugh in the future. I responded that I was busy. I decided that these messages were proof of my original feeling about the one from Friday. He was horny and couldn't find anyone else.
I could give him a second chance but experience has taught me that this is usually not a good idea. So I'm sticking to my original decision.
Saturday after working and running errands, I was ready to go out. I needed to say goodbye to my bartender before his trip. I managed to talk my neighbor into joining me for one drink. She had something called "Key Lime Pie" that she declared was so tasty, she wanted to crawl into the glass. I told her about the text message. She said, "You know he's going to show up here tonight because he knows that you will be here." I told her that I just didn't think that would happen. Within five minutes after she left, retail boy showed up. Fortunately, I was at the opposite end of the bar and could hide.
Later in the evening, my bar friend showed up. (She told her ex who joined us for a bit and had asked how we knew each other that we were not barflies; we were butterflies.) She was freaked out because she was supposed to be flying home on Sunday and had not heard from her ride to the airport. I volunteered to take her.
Things were going smoothly until I went to join her outside for a cigarette. Who should she start talking to but retail boy? He told me that I never gave him a chance before dumping him. (See the connection to the previous post?) I broke down every way that he had pissed me off that night -- demanding food, taking over the TV, turning on the fan when it was cold. I told him that I felt like my space had been invaded and as he had pointed out that evening, we weren't even dating. He said just because he pissed me off one evening was no reason to get rid of him. I explained that it was more than one evening.
Now there's nothing wrong with working retail, but at age 35 there should be more to your life than retail sales. At least that's my opinion so I asked him about his goals. He got defensive and asked, "Are you talking financial?" I said it was partially that. He then said that he would like to one day be a dad. I asked if he thought he was prepared for that at this point in his life. He admitted that his current job was not conducive to raising a family but that he had ambition. Then came my favorite line. "Everyone I know is always saying how I have lots of ambition." That's when I let him have it. I told him that he liked to start statements with "Everyone I know..." implying that I am the only one not seeing it. I explained that if I have to ask the question, then it isn't that obvious. I also told him that when he makes statements like that, it's like the equivalent of saying, "You're just an idiot." With that said, I walked away.
A few minutes later, he came and found me. He told me that he had never thought about how someone else might interpret his statements and that I was right. (Well, I always knew that. Sheesh.) He then went on about how wonderful I am. (I knew that too.) Then he left.
Later in the evening, I received two more text messages. Something along the lines of "I want you." I could give you the exact words but I'm too lazy to go get my phone. Yes, I have the messages saved because I may need a good laugh in the future. I responded that I was busy. I decided that these messages were proof of my original feeling about the one from Friday. He was horny and couldn't find anyone else.
I could give him a second chance but experience has taught me that this is usually not a good idea. So I'm sticking to my original decision.
Sunday, June 4, 2006
Tell me something I don't already know
Checked out this free dating site this past week. (Remember? It's all about boredom at work.) This is the quiz they have on the site. (You do not have to fill in the info in the last page in order to get your results.) These are my results.
You are The Sudden Departure.
Sweet. Dear. Loving. At Gate 18. Final call.
You've been in a lot of serious relationships. More than a few have ended ugly. Uglily. Whatever. Our guess is that you're a really fantastic girl who doesn't really know what she wants, and you've broken a few hearts as a result. You fall for people easily, and you enjoy the feeling of falling in love, but once you're there, either boredom or the old "grass is greener" syndrome sets in. The mind wanders, and with it goes the flesh. And then the toiletries.
We know you're not the classic "love 'em and leave 'em" type, at least not in a purely sexual sense. You have too many serious bonding tendencies for that. But even though you're theoretically looking to settle down, you don't settle long on one person. "Serial monogamist" is probably something you hear a lot. "Emotionally loose" is another way to put it. To the poor guys eating your dust and sniffing your panties, it doesn't really make much difference. Of course, it's not really your fault that people get hurt. You have every right to move on when you choose.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Backrubber, The Gentleman
CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail, someone just like you
Your exact opposite: The Intern
All types are described in the glossary.
This all seems fitting given the last couple of weeks I've had. I'll explain this comment tomorrow.
You are The Sudden Departure.
Sweet. Dear. Loving. At Gate 18. Final call.
You've been in a lot of serious relationships. More than a few have ended ugly. Uglily. Whatever. Our guess is that you're a really fantastic girl who doesn't really know what she wants, and you've broken a few hearts as a result. You fall for people easily, and you enjoy the feeling of falling in love, but once you're there, either boredom or the old "grass is greener" syndrome sets in. The mind wanders, and with it goes the flesh. And then the toiletries.
We know you're not the classic "love 'em and leave 'em" type, at least not in a purely sexual sense. You have too many serious bonding tendencies for that. But even though you're theoretically looking to settle down, you don't settle long on one person. "Serial monogamist" is probably something you hear a lot. "Emotionally loose" is another way to put it. To the poor guys eating your dust and sniffing your panties, it doesn't really make much difference. Of course, it's not really your fault that people get hurt. You have every right to move on when you choose.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Backrubber, The Gentleman
CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail, someone just like you
Your exact opposite: The Intern
All types are described in the glossary.
This all seems fitting given the last couple of weeks I've had. I'll explain this comment tomorrow.
Saturday, June 3, 2006
I cannot do this again
Today's quiz will appear tomorrow. I just need to vent.
So yesterday on my way out to get a burrito for lunch, I decided to call my stepmom because this was her first week as an officially retired person. It ended up being a long chat since my dad is off on a golfing weekend.
*sigh* Let me stop beating around the bush. The gist of the conversation was that after more than 20 years of sobriety, my dad has decided to start drinking again. Up until now, my dad has been a recovering alcoholic. Now I guess we can drop the "recovering." (My mom's sister, a former social worker, corrected me and said that in actuality he is a "dry drunk" since he never did any follow-up counseling after his time in rehab. She said that alcoholism is usually a sign of other underlying problems and that unless those problems are dealt with, there is a likelihood that an alcoholic will return to drinking after rehab.) I had suspected that he was drinking a couple of months ago. I had gone to his office to do some work for him and he wasn't there. The papers I needed weren't out so I started looking in desk drawers. I found a bottle of port, some plastic cups, and a bottle of mouthwash. A part of me wanted to think that perhaps he had the bottle for when friends dropped by, but then there was the mouthwash. I'll admit it. I have problems with being confrontational and so I said nothing to him. I shared this with my stepmother in our conversation. (I hadn't told anyone about my discovery prior to this conversation.) She said that there have been too many evenings to count during which he comes home smelling like mouthwash. She asked him point blank if he had been drinking and he denied it. I think we're in trouble.
After my parents divorced when I was 8, my dad hit the bottle. My mom swears that he drank before the divorce, just not as much. The custody agreement was that I would spend every other weekend with my dad. By the time I was 11, I had to call to ask if he was going to pick me up or not. Eventually I stopped calling. Why? Because the typical Saturday with my dad meant entertaining myself while he watched sports on TV and polished off a fifth of brandy. Then, because he couldn't cook back then, we would head off to dinner at a restaurant where he would kill a bottle of wine at least. Too many times in my life I have had to hear my mother lecture me on not getting in a car with him after he had been drinking. I didn't pay her any heed though because he was my dad. Those were some of the scariest car rides in my life.
He finally quit drinking when I was 18. One of his drinking buddies had committed suicide and it scared the hell out of him. By then the damage had been done though. It has only been over the last five years that I have had a decent relationship with my dad. I keep telling him that he should send thank you notes to my therapists from over the many years because I don't think that I would have anything to do with him if it weren't for them.
My dad met my stepmother about a year after my parents divorced. They dated off and on for about 10 years before they got married. Yesterday my stepmother explained that while she was interested in him, she knew that she could not get seriously involved as long as he was drinking. They got married two years after he quit.
When my dad is drunk, he can be very cruel. My stepmother and I both agreed about this. She had tried to talk to him about it because she is sure that the drinking is a response to his sister's illness. He also had a younger brother die from cancer this past December. He just gets defensive and denies everything. She thinks that I should try to talk to him but I'm not sure I can. I still remember the summer that I spent with my grandma (his mother -- also the one who was the fabulous cook) when I was 12 and turned to her and said, "My daddy is an alcoholic." Her response was, "I know sweetie but there's nothing we can do about it. He needs to realize that he has a problem on his own." She also said that we just needed to be patient and to wait. I don't think I have that kind of patience anymore.
So yesterday on my way out to get a burrito for lunch, I decided to call my stepmom because this was her first week as an officially retired person. It ended up being a long chat since my dad is off on a golfing weekend.
*sigh* Let me stop beating around the bush. The gist of the conversation was that after more than 20 years of sobriety, my dad has decided to start drinking again. Up until now, my dad has been a recovering alcoholic. Now I guess we can drop the "recovering." (My mom's sister, a former social worker, corrected me and said that in actuality he is a "dry drunk" since he never did any follow-up counseling after his time in rehab. She said that alcoholism is usually a sign of other underlying problems and that unless those problems are dealt with, there is a likelihood that an alcoholic will return to drinking after rehab.) I had suspected that he was drinking a couple of months ago. I had gone to his office to do some work for him and he wasn't there. The papers I needed weren't out so I started looking in desk drawers. I found a bottle of port, some plastic cups, and a bottle of mouthwash. A part of me wanted to think that perhaps he had the bottle for when friends dropped by, but then there was the mouthwash. I'll admit it. I have problems with being confrontational and so I said nothing to him. I shared this with my stepmother in our conversation. (I hadn't told anyone about my discovery prior to this conversation.) She said that there have been too many evenings to count during which he comes home smelling like mouthwash. She asked him point blank if he had been drinking and he denied it. I think we're in trouble.
After my parents divorced when I was 8, my dad hit the bottle. My mom swears that he drank before the divorce, just not as much. The custody agreement was that I would spend every other weekend with my dad. By the time I was 11, I had to call to ask if he was going to pick me up or not. Eventually I stopped calling. Why? Because the typical Saturday with my dad meant entertaining myself while he watched sports on TV and polished off a fifth of brandy. Then, because he couldn't cook back then, we would head off to dinner at a restaurant where he would kill a bottle of wine at least. Too many times in my life I have had to hear my mother lecture me on not getting in a car with him after he had been drinking. I didn't pay her any heed though because he was my dad. Those were some of the scariest car rides in my life.
He finally quit drinking when I was 18. One of his drinking buddies had committed suicide and it scared the hell out of him. By then the damage had been done though. It has only been over the last five years that I have had a decent relationship with my dad. I keep telling him that he should send thank you notes to my therapists from over the many years because I don't think that I would have anything to do with him if it weren't for them.
My dad met my stepmother about a year after my parents divorced. They dated off and on for about 10 years before they got married. Yesterday my stepmother explained that while she was interested in him, she knew that she could not get seriously involved as long as he was drinking. They got married two years after he quit.
When my dad is drunk, he can be very cruel. My stepmother and I both agreed about this. She had tried to talk to him about it because she is sure that the drinking is a response to his sister's illness. He also had a younger brother die from cancer this past December. He just gets defensive and denies everything. She thinks that I should try to talk to him but I'm not sure I can. I still remember the summer that I spent with my grandma (his mother -- also the one who was the fabulous cook) when I was 12 and turned to her and said, "My daddy is an alcoholic." Her response was, "I know sweetie but there's nothing we can do about it. He needs to realize that he has a problem on his own." She also said that we just needed to be patient and to wait. I don't think I have that kind of patience anymore.
Friday, June 2, 2006
I thought I was safe
It turned out this week that it wasn't the case. Normally my allergies hit around the end of March. I had forgotten that the long rainy season would mean a later allergy season. What realy sucked is that I haven't been hit like this in several years. I end up with the usual sinus congestion but add to that swollen glands, a sore throat, and a fever and you end up with miserable bitch. By 2 p.m. I feel like I want to enter a nice deep coma sleep. Yesterday I even put my head down on my desk. Then the miracle happened. By Thursday night the fever was gone and I was no longer feeling drained. Just in time.
I have to work on Saturday morning. I am also planning to go out on Saturday. I've got to say goodbye to my fave bartender before he departs on his trip. All I know is that he'd better be back at the bar when he returns. The other bartenders are trainable but they are slower to learn. Well, there is one with hope but he only works on Thursday and Sunday if I am not mistaken. Yes, that's right. I know the bartenders' schedules.
So what else I have done this week besides being grumpy and mean? Yesterday I took a walk down memory lane thanks to SFist. It was a stream of consciousness thing -- my fave. Actually I followed a link from their site to East Bay Express since I had forgotten to pick up a copy on Wednesday. I only read the first four paragraphs because suddenly I was thinking of the 80s and one of my fave local bands from back then, The Freaky Executives. (I accept that I have probably lost most of you, with possible the exception of BWB, by now. Just bear with me.) In college I loved these guys. I kind of knew the trombone player and he would putu me on the guest list of whatever club they were playing. After the show I would hang out with them til the wee hours of the morning. One of those times, Mick Fleetwood crashed the party. The joke was we told Mick that he could join the party since he was kind enough to bring a six-pack of Corona. At the height of my true partying days things were pretty surreal -- and I wasn't even doing drugs.
So of course I Googled the band's name and came up with these two interesting sites. The first is an article about a Berkeley cult. Apparently the lead singer of the Freaky Execs was raised in this cult. The second site is the Primus family tree. And I thought that I had too much time on my hands. I know. You're thinking, "I don't want to click on that link but I am trying to understand the relationship between the Freaky Execs and Primus." The drummer from the Freaky Execs was the drummer for Primus at one point. The same guy also played with Charlie Hunter and Alphabet Soup -- more music from the Bay in the 90s that I liked.
Oh, and of course even though they are no longer together, they do have a page on MySpace ... umm I mean Hellspace. The first two songs were my favorites of theirs back in the day. And then I came across this and it made me remember those places that I miss like Berkeley Square, the Keystone, and Ruthie's Inn. I was about to add The Gilman but they're still around.
Sometimes getting older just plain sucks. I obviously just need to get out and dance.
I have to work on Saturday morning. I am also planning to go out on Saturday. I've got to say goodbye to my fave bartender before he departs on his trip. All I know is that he'd better be back at the bar when he returns. The other bartenders are trainable but they are slower to learn. Well, there is one with hope but he only works on Thursday and Sunday if I am not mistaken. Yes, that's right. I know the bartenders' schedules.
So what else I have done this week besides being grumpy and mean? Yesterday I took a walk down memory lane thanks to SFist. It was a stream of consciousness thing -- my fave. Actually I followed a link from their site to East Bay Express since I had forgotten to pick up a copy on Wednesday. I only read the first four paragraphs because suddenly I was thinking of the 80s and one of my fave local bands from back then, The Freaky Executives. (I accept that I have probably lost most of you, with possible the exception of BWB, by now. Just bear with me.) In college I loved these guys. I kind of knew the trombone player and he would putu me on the guest list of whatever club they were playing. After the show I would hang out with them til the wee hours of the morning. One of those times, Mick Fleetwood crashed the party. The joke was we told Mick that he could join the party since he was kind enough to bring a six-pack of Corona. At the height of my true partying days things were pretty surreal -- and I wasn't even doing drugs.
So of course I Googled the band's name and came up with these two interesting sites. The first is an article about a Berkeley cult. Apparently the lead singer of the Freaky Execs was raised in this cult. The second site is the Primus family tree. And I thought that I had too much time on my hands. I know. You're thinking, "I don't want to click on that link but I am trying to understand the relationship between the Freaky Execs and Primus." The drummer from the Freaky Execs was the drummer for Primus at one point. The same guy also played with Charlie Hunter and Alphabet Soup -- more music from the Bay in the 90s that I liked.
Oh, and of course even though they are no longer together, they do have a page on MySpace ... umm I mean Hellspace. The first two songs were my favorites of theirs back in the day. And then I came across this and it made me remember those places that I miss like Berkeley Square, the Keystone, and Ruthie's Inn. I was about to add The Gilman but they're still around.
Sometimes getting older just plain sucks. I obviously just need to get out and dance.
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