Depression sets in

Yes, I am feeling a bit depressed. Why? It all started this morning while I was getting ready to go to work.

I have gotten into a rut as to what I chose to wear to work each day. Of course this will all soon because we are supposed to be changing over to uniforms. In the meantime I must continue to search my closet for something appropriate to wear. Today I decided to get out of the rut. I pulled out a skirt that I haven't worn in sometime to discover that it no longer fits. I could get it on but I could not fasten the button at the waist. Yes, I tried sucking it in. It did not work. That is when the depression started to set in.

I discussed this to a coworker. She asked if this is something I have experienced before. Never. In fact I have spent most of my adult life fighting to keep the pounds on. This is uncharted territory for me. I have worn the same size for at least 20 years. I cannot afford to replace a wardrobe that I have spent many years acquiring. Besides there is the vanity/pride angle. I refuse to buy the next size up.

I realize that anyone who has actually met me might not have much sympathy. It's just that we all have the things that we will not bulge on. I remember talking to former coworkers a few years ago. These women were talking about the plastic surgery they would have performed as the lines appeared on their faces. I do not mind the lines. One of my best friends from high school recently told me that they add character. (She's a stage actress.) I just don't want to gain weight.

Perhaps I will end up like my stepmother, having tummy tuck after tummy tuck. I don't think that's really the answer. The answer is that I need to get off of my butt and become more active. I know that I have gained the weight in this last year. This is the first year that I have had a fairly sedentary job. There was the slight weight gain when I stopped going out dancing a few times a week. That was tolerable because my clothes still fit. This is not. The real challenge is to find a way to exercise (and no, I do not do gyms) that I can fit into my crazy work schedule.

sigh I am sure I will find an answer.