... or why I realized that I should never be allowed to have children.
Tonight I lost Boris. I realized this when I sat down to relax after spraying odor and stain control stuff on the area of the carpeting that Boris had decided to use as toilet paper.
Normally at this point in the evening Boris and Natasha would be busy chasing each other around the apartment. Instead it was just Natasha plaintively wailing. Sometimes they like to hide from each other so after five minutes of Natasha's wailing, I decided to help her look for him. Natasha and I searched every conceivable hiding place at least twice. Boris was nowhere to be found. I then took a stroll through the building on the off chance that he had escaped. I knew this wasn't really possible because the last time I had opened the door was before spraying the carpet. I even went to look around inside.
Natasha was eagerly awaiting my report when I returned. I had to tell her that Boris was gone and that I desperately needed a second glass of wine. That's when I remembered seeing Boris the last time. He had been hovering around me while I had poured a glass of Riesling. I remember thinking, "No. He couldn't possibly be..." I ran to the refrigerator because if all else failed I could pour myself another glass of wine. There sitting on the bottom shelf of the fridge was Boris.
I certainly hope this has taught him to stop being so nosy around the refrigerator.