I was sitting around this week wondering about my friendship with Jade. This is nothing new as I have done this many times. Then I decided to come up with this list. By the way, for those of you who are my newer readers, Jade is my BFF. Argh! I have obviously been spending too much time with the kids. But this is a fitting description. I have known Jade since I was seven. She knows where the bodies are buried. (It might also be why she is not allowed to read this blog.)
1. When someone asks you to reveal something deep about yourself, tell them what color underwear you are wearing.
2. You can find the cover charge for the latest hot spot in the couch. Of course, this requires having the attitude of, "What? I know you are not about to say anything to me for paying in coins!"
3. Speed limits do not apply when you are trying to get to a club. Why else do they put all those numbers on the speedometer?
4. When you are married with kids, have at least one single friend. You can live vicariously through this person. Note: Make sure this friend is an outgoing, partygirl kind of chick.
5. Americans are boring. (Or perhaps they are not willing to recognize the princess you are sure that you are.) Therefore, only date Europeans.
6. When diet and exercise have not given you the results that you want, get plastic surgery. (Jade has not actually done this but it is a frequent topic of conversation over way too many years to count.)
7. When your BFF drops by unexpectedly, as she is prone to do, offer her food and drink. Not necessarily in that order.
8. Be willing to share all the horrid things that your mother has said about your BFF with her. Then laugh hysterically when she shares the same with you. Declare both mothers to be idiots who just don't understand.
9. Remember the favors that friends have done for you. When you had no money one summer and your friend paid your way into clubs every week because she could, repay this favor years later when she is unemployed and you're not.
10. Be there for your friends no matter what. If your friend is in the hospital, be the first to call. OK. So maybe you're the only one who actually calls.
These are valuable life lessons. Really. And even though the beginning of the list may be categorized as things that irritate me, it is the end of the list that keeps us friends. I measure friendships between those that I have with Jade and Emerald. They both already know that if I ever marry, they will be the first that I call to be bridesmaids. They both recognize that I have a tendency to cut people out of my life if they piss me off too much. I have assured them that this will never be the case with them.
Jade and I have had some doozies of fights. And yes, I mean fights. I remember one in which I lost an earring. It's a shame that it was one of a pair that I had borrowed from her. We have gone for weeks of not speaking to one another. But then we remember that there is no one else in each other's lives who knows as much about us other than family. And family? Love them but we all need someone else. So we always find a truce and move on.
Years ago when I was going through therapy, I told the therapist that I did not really trust anyone. Then she learned about Jade. She pointed out that I was playing tricks in my mind by telling myself that I could not trust anyone. My friendship with Jade proved that this was a lie. And so I have to question why I can trust Jade and have so much difficulty trusting other people. Part of it is knowing that Jade will always be there for me. She may not be there on the daily basis at this point but I know that she will be there if I really need her. Because she recognizes when those times are. The only conclusion that I can draw is that Jade entered my life before I started to distrust the world. But it also gives me hope. Because she is proof that I have not completely lost the ability to trust. And knowing this, makes everything alright in my world.