Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Putting the guard back up

So if you're reading this and have been reading for sometime, you were not scared off by the last post. I hate taking photos and rarely do so. But Queenie twisted my arm. So we each took a photo with our cellphones. (The only digital camera I own is a video camera. Fantastic stills but a little bulky. And I haven't heard any of you complain about the photos I have posted from my phone. And if you did, we'd just throw you into the dungeon.) And then we sent the photos to each other so that we would have comparison/choice. I went with my photo because of the looks on our faces even though in my photo I have serious waddle action going on. But other than that it looks like me. Because I only wear make-up when I go out. I stopped wearing make-up daily when I left college. I've been told that this action has helped in the anti-aging as well. I am sure that taking care of myself (physically) after a night out also helps. I am more likely to cook after a night out than any other time. Because one must ensure that one receives the proper balance of salt, grease, and carbs.

By the way, I tend to write posts in advance. It gives me time to contemplate whether I actually want to post. Kind of like the last post. I probably would have posted a photo sooner but I tend to run from cameras. But once I told Queenie the URL, I suddenly felt a little less anonymous. Even more so than when I told Grasshopper the URL. (By the way, Grasshopper has told me that she will watch the "kids" while I head off to Mexico to see my mom.) So I took the chance and posted a photo with which I was not completely happy. Because I have never really photographed well. In younger days, when I talked to agents, they mentioned runway. I was 15 to 20 pounds lighter than what you saw. And I like to think that I look much better in person.

I think that what made me change my mind about posting a photo that included myself was my decision to "jump bad." OK. So I had had several drinks when I made this decision. As is always the case. Basically Saturday night at the conference a coworker decided to video me and another coworker on her cellphone. She then threatened to send it to the assistant superintendant. I basically dared her to. OK. I may have done more than dare her. I figured that if she actually did, I would be able to talk my way out of it all. It's not like I said anything disparaging about him or the district. Lesson learned? Watch that woman. (Remind me to talk to Queenie about further sign language. You'd probably be surpised about the number of curse word phrases we can sign to each other while leaving everyone else around us perfectly clueless.) And my mentor also hinted that I should watch that woman. But another veteran teacher assured us that I did not say anything but in her defense. Basically we just got a little too ethnic. Possibly made some folks a little uncomfortable as a result. Stuff about Michael Richards, Jesse Jackson, and Mel Gibson. Ummm. What's the common denominator here?

Monday I spoke to my new mentor -- and a few other teachers. She chastised me for drinking over the weekend and then asked if I had not shared anything too personal. It seems that now that I have finally learned how to drop my guard, I need to put it back up. Thankfully the veteran teacher came through for me. She explained how she opened up the can of worms. I then explained that it was only natural that I have her back on everything. Apparently we were the only ones laughing at our statements. Her take is that we made everyone else a little uncomfortable. And that's why we were able to laugh while no one else could.

I was going to say something else but then I censored myself. I have always figured that someone who knew me well could find me. There would be some question if it was really me but without a photo it could not be confirmed. And so now the photo has been removed. Sorry. If you missed the photo, then email me and I will send the one I removed. Just had to do it for my piece of mind. As long as I am anonymous, I can truly speak my truth.

It all goes back to that tenure thing. In two years I will have tenure in this district. I have already starting to plan the tattoo that I will get to mark this event. And screw how much my mother screams about it. I mean some of the cooler folks on my dad's side of the family have approved of the whole idea. And these are the folks who usually have a stick stuck deep up somewhere.

Then again, on my dad's side of the family I have been branded the wild child. Kind of the "Paris" of the family. I can get away with a lot as a result.

And I have another reason to get excited about Christmas. It seems that my mom's friend, who owns a winery in Sonoma (You can buy their stuff at BevMo. Email me if you're interested.), will also be in Mexico along with her family at the same time that I am there. Her daughters are younger than I but we get along really well. (Notice my pronoun choice. This is the correct choice and is one of my pet peeves. When using "than," always use the nominative case for the personal pronoun.) I expect to have a great time for the holidays at this point.

Oh, and that workshop yesterday? Totally rocked. I am so going in today and trying out some of the things I learned yesterday.

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