Saturday, June 30, 2007

Something light for the ladies

Your Beauty Element is Earth

You are the epitome of a natural beauty. Your look is definitely effortless.
And while you shy away from a lot of make-up and accessories, you're no granola girl either!

Around now the old me would be spewing ugly things about the boy. Thankfully, I am the new me. Because I just found out last night that he was in a car accident this week. I'll admit that I did start saying to myself, "All of his fingers must be broken. Right?" And then I heard about the accident and I felt really bad for my previous thoughts.

Last week when Fluffycat showed up to my party, she asked about the boy since I had refused to post about him. I told her the truth. We had a falling out around Memorial Day, his birthday. He has ideas about exclusivity but doesn't want a girlfriend. I told him how it would be. A week later he told me that he wanted to talk. My response? "Has your opinion changed in any way since we last talked? No? Then there's nothing more to say." Basically when he told me about the non-girlfriend thing, I countered with that it was all good with me -- as long as he realized that I would be seeing guys other than him. Because a partygirl has needs. Like non-stop adoration. This apparently led to the second, and then third, conversation. Apparently he has issues with sharing. Whatever. Get over it. And seeing as this all started around his birthday, it was at this time that I discovered my mistake. He was not 28, going on 29. Nooooo. He is now 27 as of his birthday. What's 14 years? Age is nothing but a number. And by my quiz last weekend, I am around his age anyway.

Maybe this is some more of my wishful thinking at play. I want things to work out because he is intelligent and hot. But I'm, once more, not too into the idea of marriage. Commitment, yes. Marriage, no. Because I'm not that good at compromise -- at least not in the realm of relationships. I like the idea of being able to come and go as I please. My married friends have told me that this is not the case in their lives. Ummm. Don't think I can do that. I have come to enjoy my independence a little too much. I can't imagine answering to anyone else for my actions. Well, I could. My response would be, "Fuck you and feed you beans!"

Oh! This was supposed to be light-hearted and shit. OK. Have a nice weekend!

Friday, June 29, 2007

At this rate, I'm going to get fat

The birthday season goes on. Yesterday my aunt took me to lunch at T-Rex. This has been a fave of mine for a little over a year. She had never been there before. I've been there two times before -- once with Musician Boy, and then with Emerald, Jade, and one of Jade's other friends for my birthday last year. Now it is included in my aunt's list of faves. She started planning her future meals there in the middle of lunch. Near the end, I suddenly remembered that I had not taken the requisite food porn photos. (Alas, I had forgotten my camera at home and had to make due with my cellphone.)

We split a Two-way of pulled pork and babyback ribs,

cornbread with maple butter,

and macaroni and cheese.

I forgot to take pictures of the slow-cooked greens. Oh, and the artichoke appetizer -- grilled and covered in buttery goodness. Then again I have some of the greens in my container in the fridge. It took some arm-twisting to convince my aunt that we should split the leftovers. I think the convincing line was, "By Sunday when your stomach is starting to get settled after tomorrow's chemo treatment, you will be dreaming of the food just like you dream about the garlic noodles from Crustacean's days later."

I still need to celebrate my birthday as well as Father's Day with my dad. It looks like we'll be returning. Because there are so many items on the menu that I have yet to try.

Two last things:

1. How many others were as horrified as I was to hear Fed Ex's "Papagao" on "So You Think You Can Dance" last night?

2. I have been catching up on my young adult reading. Last night I somehow managed to choose two books back-to-back that are set in New Paltz, New York. I had never heard of the place until I read the first book and then to pick a second one?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Not food

I was going to cook more food yesterday but I guess after three consecutive days of creating stuff, I needed a break. Maybe I'll find the energy today because I still have stuff in the fridge that will go bad if I don't cook it soon.

So instead, I present this today. I bought the flowers on Saturday to place on the table. After I released the cats from the bedroom, I thought about throwing them out. Because lilies are highly poisonous to cats. There was a discussion about this on Laurie's blog a while back. Funny thing though. Apparently the cats are quite content to lie by the vase while looking out the window. Yes, Natasha has decapitated almost all of the roses but neither cat has touched the lilies. I think they must realize how bad the flowers are. Or maybe it's something about the strong smell that permeates the apartment.

Oh! Something food-related did happen yesterday. I received a call from the Chipotle location I like to frequent. Apparently I am a winner in their drawing and can now receive a dinner for four anytime through July 8. Two years ago I entered their drawing when I worked at the tutoring center. I won lunch for all of the employees. And the day they gave us to receive our lunch? My birthday. I'm starting to think that my birthday season now involves some combination of Kate Spade, Chipotle, and Cesar.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Just when you thought it was safe

More food porn!

So I had that leftover crab filling. I added in some more crab, eggs, cheese, and milk as well as the leftover mushrooms from the veggie tray. And a little bit more nutmeg.

Crab quiche.

And since I was being lazy I was using a frozen pie crust. Those things always come in pairs. What to do with second? Chop up the leftover cocktail shrimp. Season with fresh dill and some parmesan.

Shrimp quiche.

Both of these are now in the freezer -- along with some of that jamabalaya and chili. Oh and the leftover empanadas joined them in the freezer yesterday as well.

I also cooked up the fully prepped item. Look at that fried cheesy goodness.

Bourek with feta, paprika, parsley, and dill.

I still have to figure out the chicken. *sigh* Perhaps today.

And finally, just for Jill -- more Natasha. This is the view I had over my shoulder, after cooking, while watching "Making the Band 4." I actually had to slide over to take the picture because her head was almost resting on my shoulder.

The true Empress.

On a final note, let's talk about food. Last night I watched "Hell's Kitchen." All I could think was, "How could one confuse pear for radish?" Let's forget about taste. They both have totally different textures on the tongue. When I see things like that on the show, I think that I could be a contender.

And speaking of contender, I am still in the running for the my "new" job. I have been told they will get back to me by the end of this week. The actual words were, "I'll get back to you by the end of this week about my plans for you." Ummmm. That kind of sounds like a job offer to me.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Thank you, Glad and Ziploc

... and all the various folks who showed up on Saturday night.

I awoke early on Saturday because I had a lot of stuff to do in the kitchen since I ended up doing nothing on Friday night. So there I found myself at 6:30 a.m. shelling shrimp. And then I remembered that the tapenade needed some time to marinate in the fridge.

Fig walnut tapenade with goat cheese.

And will someone please slap me if I ever utter "stuffed cherry tomatoes" again in my life?

Front: Cherry tomatoes stuffed with crab salad and Back: with black olives and capers.

Then it was time to really get cooking. The first item out of the oven gave me a bit of difficulty. I kept rolling the dough out and cutting it but every time I tired to insert in the cups, it would break. Then I remembered that my favorite tart dough does not require rolling. You just press the dough into the pan. Problem solved.

Crab tartlets

Normally when I make empanadas, I make the dough as well. This time I cheated by using frozen puff pastry dough. I would have gone nuts if I hadn't.

Empanadas filled with chicken

... and with beef.

I had planned on making two other dishes but then time started running out. And then there's the dish I made and completely forgot to put out -- a Spanish tortilla. *smacking head* Oh, and then there's the buorek that I prepped and put in the fridge but never cooked. (Yes, my fridge is overflowing currently. Feel free to stop by for leftovers. One of my friends did on Sunday.) To wash this all down, I made my usual white wine sangria.

I had the great pleasure of meeting Fluffycat and another chance to see Buzzgirl. About half of the folks who said that they would show didn't. That's cool with me though. I'm not going to hold it against someone for not showing. Especially since some of them are former co-workers and so there is a good chance I may never see them again anyway.

And there were cool gifts as well. Buzzgirl gave me a bottle of pomegranate liqueur that had Emerald drooling. There was also some candy and the gift cards/certificates for AMC, Starbuck's, and Cesar. Boris and Natasha say that their favorite gift is the one from Fluffycat.

Boris busy checking out his new toy

Natasha was not too much of a fan of my other gift. Now I feel just like the Commander.

See how they match my top perfectly?

Natasha may not have liked the bangles, but she does love roses.

And thanks to the folks from Glad and Ziploc, clean up was pretty painless. Although I did put off the actual dishwashing until Sunday.

Even though she was not at the party, Natasha found the whole thing rather tiring.

Yesterday I realized that I had quite a few leftovers. Some will be going to my aunt today, some into the freezer. And then there were those other leftovers -- the extra fillings. I had crab, chicken and beef left. I think yesterday I must have been channeling Cookiecrumb when starting this process.

Here's what became of the beef.

Later I'm sure I'll be showing what will happen to the crab, chicken, and perhaps one other item. All in all, it was a pretty good birthday.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

I'm older

I took the quiz some time ago. I am happy to see that I have aged. Especially since it's my birthday.

You Are 29 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Now I have to return to the kitchen since I was such a slacker yesterday. With any luck I should be finished in there by 1:00 or so.

I retook the quiz after this weekend. As I suspected, I lost a couple of years.

You Are 27 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Time to get a little anal

And I don't mean stuff oozing from my ass. I mean that I had my list and the universe was conspiring against me.

I had the best laid plans for today. Hell, I had a list. Because I do that. Make lists upon lists. Right after I made the list last night, I had to throw out a list from earlier in the week because it was no longer valid and would just confuse me if should happen upon it today. So now you have an idea of the twisted workings of my mind.

My list for today was broken into two categories -- things I need to clean and things I need to cook. Now this list was dependent on a great many things -- such as getting out of the hair appointment on time. But the universe conspired against me long before the hair appointment. I'd go into more detail but -- ah, fuck it. I don't work with her anymore so here goes.

One of my last duties at the school district was to construct a recommended class list for next year. I was ready to do such on Monday. Unfortunately, Queenie wasn't. She wasn't anywhere done with packing up her room. She also knew that I am having a party tomorrow for my birthday. Monday night I left her a message -- typical, the leaving a message thing that is -- stating that she should contact me when she was ready to work on the list. The list was due today by 3:00 p.m. She first contacted me at 7:30 a.m. or so today. I had already told her that I had a hair appointment scheduled for this morning. I called her back and said that we would have to do the list over the phone while I was getting my hair done. (I was in the middle of running errands at the time that I saw her message.) She wondered over how we would do this by phone. I told her that the alternative would be that she meet me at the salon. Guess how we got the list done?

To say that I started off my day in a pissed off mood would be an extreme understatement. This is not the first time that I have felt completely dicked over by Queenie. (And yeah, I'm really pissed off because I know she knows the URL for this blog and I really don't care.) I immediately called my mother to vent. Even though I know that my mother is tired of hearing my venting over the last year. In fact she has said, "If you keep this up, I may as well go back to work myself." My mother proclaimed that after all that she has heard over the last few months that Queenie must be highly self-centered. There are things that she has done that made me look bad to the administration. But I suppose she never thought of that. Which is why I got a little bitchy and vindictive over the last month or so. "Oh, I'm thinking of doing something and Queenie doesn't know? Fuck her and feed her beans." If it's a dog eat dog world, then I'm not the one who is going to be caught out there wearing a milk bone outfit.

So my first thirty minutes at the salon were spent on the phone with Queenie putting together the class list for next year. And I had the time because my hair stylist was not ready for me. I showed up ten minutes early and she wasn't ready for me until 35 minutes past my appointment time. Grrrrr! Add this onto the fact that the two -- yes, two -- clients who were there before me had really long processes to go through so they weren't leaving anytime soon. Thank goodness I had decided in the middle of the conversation with Queenie to run around the corner and to pick up lunch.

By 2:00 p.m. I realized that my hair was at a state that I would still need at least another hour in the shop. The problem was that I needed to meet up with my aunt by marriage. (I know that sounds convoluted. Basically she is my uncle's ex-wife. But they had a kid. And were married for way too many years. So she's still my aunt.) Back in May when I went to do that work for my father, we ended up at a barbecue at her house. I inadvertently left my camera there. (Now y'all know the answer to why the few pictures I have posted since then have totally sucked. Taken with my cell phone.) I had arranged to pick the camera up from her today at her school. (She's a school principal.) But the deal was that I had to be there before 3:00 p.m. Her school was at least a 20 minute drive from my hair appointment and so I needed to be out of there no later than 2:30 p.m. Well, the state of my hair at 1:45 p.m. told me that this would not be possible. I told the stylist to blow dry my hair and that I would be back to have her finish it.

The trip should have been quick and painless. It wasn't. I had written down the address for the school -- in a city with which I am not that familiar because when I was growing up, they didn't really welcome my kind there -- as her son, my cousin, had given me. I showed up at the site and the place was locked. Finally some workmen told me that they were doing construction there and I would need to go to the temporary site. They named some other school. I looked at them and told them that I was not that familiar with the area and would need directions. It took almost five minutes to get directions that I could actually follow. (And mind you, I had hair from hell stuffed under a baseball cap at this point.) I eventually found my way to the school and got my camera. I also got an invite to the aunt's next barbecue. Don't know why. At the end of the last one -- when I left my camera -- she accused me of acting ghetto. I wasn't ghetto. Just depressed. But maybe those are the same thing.

My hair was finally done at 5:00 p.m. I was supposed to be home for hours by then. So much for the list. By the time I got home, I was feeling totally wiped. And so now I am thinking about turning in and just getting an extra early start in the morning.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Job status

I finally received a call yesterday from the job. They have now hired a new center director and think that it would be a good idea that we meet before they hire me. The thing is I already know him. He was the center director at another center when I worked there before. So I figure my chat with him next Tuesday should go just fine. If not, it seems that they have at least two other comparable openings for which they are now considering me as well. I love having options.

My priority at this point is to stop being a slacker, like I did yesterday, and to get out and about to start the party prep. I knew that this year was the right one to throw a party.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The wedding

First things first. Today is officially the start of summer vacation for me. I have not heard from my old job yet. I chose to believe that this is a good sign. They are carefully mulling things over, knowing that the earliest that I would like to start work is July 2. Queenie has to go into work today. I stayed there until about 4:15 yesterday because I would be damned if I would have to go in another day.

So now for the weekend recap. After not getting my bag last Thursday afternoon, Emerald and I hit the road south. During the drive, she shared with me that while she had thought it would be a total girls' weekend, she was mistaken. As it turns out, Emerald is now expecting child number two. The news spread like wildfire at the reception. Maybe the wedding as well but we didn't attend the wedding.

About a month ago, Kate called up with a request. There was a bunch of stuff that she wanted done at the reception site that the catering folks would not take care of. She asked if Emerald and I would be willing to skip the wedding to take care of things. We quickly agreed. I don't know if I've said it enough times before but Kate, Emerald, and Jade are my best friends in the world and I would do anything for them. Including that the reception site meets the bride's expectations. So Emerald and I spent Friday afternoon setting up the candy bar and the favors on the tables. Just 150 place settings thank goodness. Because there was a printed menu, a card, and three other gifts for each guest. We finished up near 6:00 -- just enough time to run to the hotel next door to get cleaned up for the reception.

I spent the early part of the reception hanging out with the priest. (I'm sorry that I just made you spit out what you were drinking just now.) He was the coolest priest I have ever met. I told Kate that if he wasn't a priest, I'd marry him. After that things become kind of blurry. Must have been the open bar. I do remember that none of the adults would really dance so Kate's sister and I hit the dance floor with the kids in attendance -- about ten or so kids, aged four through twelve. Hours of dancing with said kids was involved.

Saturday we headed to Kate's parents' house for a cookout -- beef, chicken, kielbasa, shrimp, scallops. And don't even get me started on the desserts. Kate's relatives explained to me that this whole second party is a Polish tradition. They told me the Polish word for it but, of course, I have forgotten it now. What I thought was really cool was that many of Kate's relatives also speak Spanish which meant that they were able to communicate with her new Columbian in-laws.

Kate was grateful for our help. So grateful that she gave us a gift. (On Friday when I was about to drive off from her mom's house in the behemoth of the white Bronco, her mom asked how much I charged for my wedding planning assistance. At the time I was more concerned with being a black chick driving a white Bronco in SoCal.)

Isn't it beautiful?

It was hard to return to reality yesterday but I did. Now I'm sitting with boxes of books in my living room that somehow need to disappear by Saturday in time for my party. But first, daytime TV calls.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Wasted money

I am hoping to get my new bag today. I could have had it on Thursday if it had not been for this idiot. Apparently all shipments need to go through the warehouse at work. I'm OK with that. What I'm not OK with is that my bag was delivered to the warehouse last Thursday around noon. Around 3:20 I had not received it so I went over to the warehouse -- only to discover that the person who works there left around 3:00. Ummm. Why did I bother to pay for overnight delivery? Obviously a waste of money. So I hit the road on Thursday in a not so good mood. But the weekend was great. More about that later though. Now I have to get ready to go into work. *sigh*

Oh, and here's the quiz I would have posted over the weekend if I had been around...

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in a scene in Saturday Night Fever or Boogie Nights? Hey! They both started in the late 70s. No matter the industry, the groove was still there. Or maybe I have this song stuck in my mind.

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon.
You're in touch with your emotions and intuition.
You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory.
Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone).
A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

As a Cancer, I'm not really surprised. (And yes, I tried leaving my sun sign while changing other answers. The result changed so I now feel that the answer is not linked to the sun sign answer.)

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

On its way

Yesterday I broke down and made my first purchase for myself in some time. I'm starting to think that since the sale is an annual event right before my birthday that I should just get in the habit of making an annual purchase. An early birthday present for myself each year.

This is the bag I got this year. But mine is navy. Although I did seriously consider this color as well. And yes, I know that I already own a messenger bag. But it has profanity on it -- even if it is written kind of small and lightly. So that doesn't make it all that work friendly. Also it's bright yellow. I know this was probably not your choice, Laurie, as it is the only color messenger bag available from Cafe Press. But when I was traveling in December, I frequently got comments like, "So you've brought your own life boat?" while waiting around in airports.

And I like to think that the purchase was a part of positive thinking. When I return to my old job (No, they haven't called yet.), the new bag will be perfect for work. Oh, and another thought. After I've returned it will mean that next year I should be able to buy two bags during the sale. Squeeeee!

OK. That's just too much excitement for me. I must return to the drudgery of laundry, cleaning, and packing. Because I'm off for SoCal tomorrow after work.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

More procrastination

The interview went pretty well yesterday. Well, at least I think so. At the end, they asked when was the soonest I could come in to take their personality test. I told them that it would have to be next week since I was heading out of town. After a couple of seconds of thought I then suggested staying around and taking it immediately. They are supposed to let me know their decision by next Monday at the latest.

I got a wonderful email this morning. One of my favorite sales is happening. Thank you, Heather, for posting the link last year. Now I just have to decide what I want this year.

And now I guess I should return to my report cards. Because I still haven't finished them.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Things I learned this weekend

Overall this weekend was pretty slacker-ish. I did make a brief appearance out and about on Friday but not much else other than that. (And please don't make me talk about Friday because I'm still trying to get the picture of the 60-year-old guy trying to talk me into coming over to check out his HDTV out of my mind.) Besides procrastinating on completing report cards.

(1) I added a new word to my vocabulary -- "slut-tastic." Thank you, Mo'nique. And if Brooke didn't think that this word described her to a tee, then she is in need of serious help.

(2) The bad guys on British TV are really hot looking. I thought that Azazeal must have been a fluke but the hotness keeps coming. Suddenly a life of sin and degradation has now become appealing.

(3) I found a really cool dry cleaner over in Temescal. A dress, two shirts, a jacket, and a futon cover for only $35. OK. They do make you pay cash up front. If it hadn't been for the futon cover, I would have been out of there for under $10 though. Squeeeee!!!

(4) Do not open the car door after you have turned on the dome light. Otherwise you might forget that you have turned on the light. Because the light usually stays on for a bit after you close the door. This all would have been fine if my car then did not sit for two days with the light in the on position. Yes, I had to call for a jump start. The road service folks told me it would be a 30 minute wait. The guy showed up in ten. At least something's going right.

(5) If I fall asleep on the futon in the living room, I will awake to find a cat curled up next to me. They don't do this with the bed. There must be something magical about the futon. Or they've figured out that I am going to leave them next weekend while I head to Kate's wedding in SoCal.

And now I am going to meditate upon my closet. It seems that I have an interview -- what a surprise -- this afternoon.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Some good news

You Are Destined to Be Thin

Even if you aren't thin right now, you have great habits that will ensure you're thin for most of your life.
You have a great relationship with food and eating. Don't change a thing.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Falling without a net

First things first. I learned that most folks only read the first couple of paragraphs in a blog post. Shame on you, If I actually read a post, I read the entire post as well as the comments to date for that post. So I you can find the energy to post a comment, then cool. Otherwise not like we really noticed. I think I may be about to make a huge plunge.

It seems that my old position is now vacant -- the one with the tutoring folks. The place is under new ownership and the pay has increased dramatically. But there are so many questions to answer.

My old job -- this would be the one I left at the end of last January -- is very stable. Stable is a good thing. I like not worrying from year to year if I will still have a job. Most of the old staff is there and they loved me. I called the place this evening on my way home and spoke to one of the staff members. He asked if I was seriously considering coming back. I told him that I had already submitted the resume. He's moving mine to the top of the stack. When I left there, it was very hard as I had grown to love most of the people who worked there. And I know I still keep in regular contact with a few of them even now. Since it's all new (upper) management, I am pretty sure that I have not burned any bridges along the way. And did I mention the pay increase? I'd be in a much more secure place financially if I go back there.

My mother would love for me to stay with the public schools as she thinks that I am happiest when I work in a school. But I'm about to turn 41 and I'd like a little stability in my life. And public schools? Not as much stability. Although you do get the ten weeks off in summer. But the other place is offering enough money, in my mind, to make up for that difference. And it would be great to be financially secure -- my biggest worry. Because, hey, I'm a Cancer and we worry about stuff like that. And then there's the money thing. When folks pay $50 per hour, one almost never has behavior problems. I know that it's entertaining when some kid asks me if I'm a virgin but to not have to deal with these kind of questions? Priceless.

So my application has been pushed to the top. And I know that once I walk into the door that I will win them over. Because the hardest thing for me has always been getting in the door. Let me in and I will shine. This probably also has something to do with the fact that I have had a hard time pimping myself out. C'mon. Let's get real. (Oh, and by the way, I had a long conversation today with the kids about the apostrophe in "let's.") Where was I? Oh yeah. The pimping thing. It's hard for someone who is usually self-deprecating to be positive. But I can't be this way in light of my old job. Not even the current one. I kicked butt at the current job (totally in a figurative way) even if the powers that be are not willing to acknowledge it.

So regardless of my mother's recommendations, I am leaning toward accepting my old job if it is offered to me. Because I have finally accepted in my mind that there is only one person to whom I must take care -- me. Because who else is going to do that?

Monday, June 4, 2007

Some surprises

Looking at the tags for this post, one might think that I had a very busy weekend. Not really.

Let's start with the truly depressing stuff. I promise that it will be uphill from here. Friday morning my mom asked if I would be willing to give up a kidney. (My mom would get tested but years ago she discovered that she had a cyst on one of her kidneys. Not life-threatening but it precludes her from donating.) Apparently it has become that time yet again for her younger brother. Because after two or so years of not speaking to my grandmother, my uncle decided to call up my grandmother for Mother's Day. Or maybe it was her birthday. They were a week apart so it's kind of confusing.

Anywho. It seems that his kidney is failing once more. If he can find a kidney, this will be his third transplant. He partied his way through the first one. The second transplant he was a little more serious about the whole thing. Well, he was after his daughter was born -- third child, third woman. Did I mention that my uncle is a player? Well, he was until his daughter was born. Then he found Jesus and likes to sit in judgment of the rest of us. Except me. Because I am the keeper of all of his secrets. Well, until he blabs them. Like when he impregnated a coworker at the same time that his fiance was pregnant. The coworker had an abortion. When the rest of the family found out about the other woman, I had known about her for months. (I guess it helped that I lived in the town in which he worked. It's hard to hide stuff in a town of 10,000 folks. Although I did threaten his co-workers with great bodily harm if they ever revealed my bar activity to my uncle. I assume they didn't because no guys suddenly died in town.) He always liked how I didn't blab to the rest of the family about "his business." I have mentioned before that I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, didn't I? Just call me "The Enabler." Of course, I also learned how to kick game from my uncle. I know how to spot his type at a thousand paces -- just how he'd like it. Because my uncle would kick the ass of any guy who I dated if the guy turned out to be like him. And he always told me to avoid men like him. Seems his type was OK for other women's families but not his own. Funny how that works. I love my uncle but I don't think that he can have one of my kidneys. I'm using both to full capacity currently.

But back to me. Thursday night was the spring concert at school. Since at least half of my students are involved in either band or dance, I felt obligated to show up. After the concert, I was talking to a couple of parents. Believe it or not, we were talking about places that are not too ghetto. That's one of the problems in Oakland. A nice African American place will open and then those folks find out about it and ruin it all. I have developed serious issues with places that insist on searching my purse before I enter. Who else are they expecting in the place? This only seems to happen in the places in which the crowd is predominantly African American. I know places in the Excelsior that could benefit from this policy.

And I was going somewhere with this. Oh yeah. The one dad who was a part of the conversation, who is apparently a professional musician, -- There was talk of taking the kids on tour with him in the summer in Europe. Why couldn't I have had a dad like that? -- was trying to place my face. I get that a lot. Folks are always saying that I remind them of someone. Lately my stepmom and my uncle's wife have been trying to convince me that I look like Condaleeza. Ewwwww!!! But this dad scored points. Sure his second comment was one I've heard before -- Whitney Houston (I like to think that this is Whitney without Bobby.) -- but his first guess? Totally original. Marilyn McCoo. Loved her as a kid. Because who didn't just love The Fifth Dimension? Of course, I loved "Up, Up, and Away" but my absolute favorite song of theirs is the Laura Nyro song, "Stoned Soul Picnic." I played it over and over on my portable phonograph. (I kind of permanently borrowed the album from my parents around age four or so. Along with some Supremes and Johnny Mathis. My parents never seemed to miss the LPs.) Oh, and let's not forget "Solid Gold." That is some classic TV.

Friday night for the first time in a long time, I headed out. Ran into a freak I met last summer. Too bad his friends are so cool. They were heading to the Greek for a concert so didn't get to spend much time with them. I was ready to write off the evening but then one of my fave bands showed up and I knew the evening was going to be OK.

There was a little hitch in the evening. Sports Guy had the audacity to show up. And tried to talk to me like we were friends or something. I think he got the hint the second time he showed up trying to talk to me and I said something along the lines of, "Get the fuck away from me! What part of 'I don't want to talk to you ever again' did you not understand?" There may have also been threats of telling to bouncers to permanently ban him from the place. Because it's my bar, damnit!

So I had another cocktail and met a group of boys. Who were wonderful fun. Especially since they were happy to get things started on the dance floor with me. Later, the lead singer said that he appreciated my dancing efforts. I aim to please.

Saturday I was not feeling that well. There was lots of rehydrating involved. And then there was the mandatory greasy food. In this case it was calamari rings and fries.

By Sunday, the hormones had kicked in and I was feeling fully lethargic. Then Boris was kind enough to remind me that he was out of food. As in the cats were licking crumbs off the floor. If it had not been for that, I would not have left home on Sunday. But I had visions of being killed in my sleep.

Since I was going out, I figured that I may as continue the fried food thing. This time I took some cod out of the freezer and used that Budweiser that Grasshopper left in my fridge -- I was never going to drink it -- to make a beer batter. That's right. Beer-battered fish again. Yep, a weekend of repeats. And now I'll let you in on something. I suck at making fries so I have recently taken to using a childhood standby -- OreIda. Imagine my hormonal joy today when I went to pick up a fresh bag of fries and noticed the onion rings. I could never talk my mom into buying them when I was a kid. But I'm a grown-up now -- sort of. And if I want onion rings, I can have them. So I had the fish with fries and onion rings. Oh, and some coleslaw. Washed it all down with a mojito. I felt completely satisfied.

Oh, and to get your week started right, here's the video for the kids' new fave song. Yep, I get to hear it at least a couple of times a day. I must admit that I was rather surprised that they like it. Probably because it kind of grew on me the first time I saw it on MTV -- at least a week before the kids started singing it.

And just in time for summer, there's this song. I haven't heard the kids singing it yet. I think it just hit MTV during this past week. Nah. I'm thinking more like summer theme song.

Only two more weeks to go...

Saturday, June 2, 2007


You Probably Look Your Age (At Least!)

You don't really respect your body, and that may catch up with you over time.
Relax a little and try to take care of yourself. If not, you'll have a lot of botox in your future.

Ha! Shows how much they know. OK. Maybe they're kind of right after last night. Because today? My body feels like hell. I think I might have to subject it to more punishment tonight though.