Friday, March 7, 2008


I warned y'all that things would get sporadic around here. But this time the Universe has been smiling upon me.

First things first. My stepmother left the rehab center on Thursday and is now at home. My dad's older sister has been fabulous, as I knew she would be. She has visited my stepmother in the rehab center every day since she has been here. She has sat with my dad through the various appointments and asked the questions of which he did not think. She recruited their younger sister and their cousin to come up on Tuesday to help her do the last things to make the downstairs bedroom ready for my stepmother's return. Knowing that my aunt has been there with my dad allowed me to relax quite a bit. She is much more skilled at all of this kind of stuff than anyone else in our family. (It's long been recognized in the family that my skills are keeping lines of communication open, cooking for folks, and organizing your business.)

And in the middle of all of this, the Universe offered an opportunity to me. Shortly after the weekend of my dad's near meltdown, I found out that a longterm employee at work had decided to retire. Upon learning this, my boss and president of the company approached me about filling the position temporarily -- permanently if I decided that I liked it. And this is why I have been MOL (missing online) for most of the last couple of weeks. (I know there have been a few posts here but that was just because I was suddenly overcome with a strong feeling that overruled my extreme tiredness.) I knew going into it all that I would be quite competent at the job. Hell. I'd be more than competent; I would kick ass. The bottom line is that I didn't want to say anything here until I had made up my mind. I have told them that I want to take the new position permanently. It's a promotion and I'll be getting a pretty decent raise. For the first time in a long time I will be getting paid what I think I'm really worth. (And at this point, I must say a huge "Thank you" to Mommy Zombie. We chatted about all of this the evening during which we took the OPH out for a test drive. Throughout this whole process, I have carried some her words to me as a mantra. "Never undervalue yourself.") And so now I'm off on a whole new adventure at work.

In the middle of the whole work situation, I decided to bite the bullet finally and to do my tax return. The last couple of years I have owed money. This year I'm getting a load of money back. Now add this to the promotion and try to imagine the elation I am feeling at this point. My independence has always been of great importance to me. And I never really feel truly independent unless I have disposable income.

Every woman in my family has lectured me on the importance of being financially independent for too many years to count. Now they say that they made me too independent and that's why I'm not married. They're probably right. I get into a relationship and at some point I start thinking about how I might be struggling financially at that point in time. And then I back away because I don't want to be dependent in that way. Of course, it may also have something to do with the year I worked at the women's shelter. So many of those women had stayed in their situation because of financial dependence. And I've had at least a couple of scary situations in my dating history so the thought of ending up in the same place as those women has not seemed very far-fetched. Heck. It's part of my family history and that's why the women in my family stressed this so much.

For the first time in a few years, I'm back to that place of financial stability -- one that includes having disposable income. (I now know that this is why I have been avoiding my fave bar. For quite some time, I have not been the person whom they first met. Now I feel free to be my usual partygirl self.) Often at jobs, I have not really taken vacation time because it would just mean sitting around at home. I have often thought of being able to plan a real vacation. You know. Ones that don't involve some sort of family visit, ones that are for me and not out of a sense of obligation. My response was to make a wish list of things I wanted/wanted to do. And it felt great to know that these things are really within reach now.

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