On Monday night I got home from work and suddenly had a taste for Cesar's. I emailed my neighbor but she said that she needed to go to the gym and was broke. I mentioned that it would be my treat; I was just looking for company. She had to decline because I think she is obsessed with the gym these days. I then called my bar friend. Apparently she had left work early due to raging cramps. She pointed out that she would not be pleasant company. I told her to take some ibuprofen and to give me a call the next day.
Now there is nothing worse than having a food craving and not being able to fulfill it. Nothing in my fridge was appealing in the least -- especially since it would mean that I would actually have to prepare it. Finally I dragged myself over to Triple Rock. I cannot tell you enough times how much I love their burgers and fries. Oh, and the fact that you get a selection of four -- yes, four -- mustards. The fries are the thin ones with just the right amount of crispness. I am making myself salivate just thinking of them. One day I will remember to take a photo of the burgers for y'all but whenever I go there all I can think is, "Eat!" as soon as the food hits the table. So burger, fries, and a pint. Then there was the guy who I met. Because I guess it's really hot to see a woman wolfing down a half-pound burger.
Bar friend called me on Tuesday. She was feeling much better so we were on for Cesar's. Then new boy called. Wanted to know if I was interested in going to dinner. Told him Wednesday worked for me. Because that's how you win me over. Buy me food.
Cesar's was packed per usual. The hostess told us it would be a 10-15 minute wait for a table. The wait was more like 30 minutes. Then we were seated. It took the server about another 10 minutes to come by for drink orders. We were not happy girls at this point. Lucky for them the food is tasty. Otherwise it could have been real ugly. We had the smoked salmon with asparagus, a warm salad of shrimp and bread, the fried potatoes, and some other salad. Once more there are no photos because by the time we actually got food, I was about ready to go into a coma. But like I said the food was good as was the company. We chatted about loser guys who we know, like Retail Boy. When we finished off the evening, she said that this was the best date she had had in a long time -- which was kind of a sad thing. I told her that I understood the feeling.
But then I woke up Wednesday and was kind of hopeful. Because I had a date. With a guy who actually could think to call and to make plans. That alone was a great improvement over some of the ones I have met recently. And the date actually went really well. Maybe that's because he's a grown-up. We went to dinner at Taste of the Himalayas. I absolutely love Indian food and this place was great. I am looking forward to eating my leftovers later today.
Ah, and there's the sad point. I don't have dinner plans for tonight. I guess I should try to stay in the occasional evening.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
What's important
I spend a lot of time reading David's stuff each week. I sent a link to his blog to a friend in NOLA and she agreed that in many ways he is our lost brother -- even if he doesn't realize it yet.
I often find myself thinking about my friendship with Jade. If I had met her later in life, I'm not sure that we would still be friends. Jade was, is, and probably always will be, very superficial. But that was her upbringing. I know this because she has been my friend since I was seven. Her family lived two houses away and we were always in and out of each other's houses. I have heard the statements that her mother makes. Her mother is all about appearances. Well, mine is too but not to the same extent that Jade's mother is. Jade's mother is saditty. Nah, actually she's bougie. (And this is why Jade will probably never read this blog. Because the truth can be painful.) So Jade's mom often sat around with her nose in the air, looking down on us plebians, or so she imagined us, and told her daughter how pretty she was.
I had a twisted upbringing during which my mother never allowed people to compliment me on my physical appearance. Turns out that folks actually thought I was cute, but also a little intimidating. Because of my upbringing, I hit college thinking that I was not physically attractive. That was OK though because I learned to appreciate the people who liked me for me and not for what they saw. It gave me the insight to see past the outer shell in others as well. Through my 20s and 30s I have often found the need to explain my choices in whom I date to others. "But you're too cute to be going out with him." Yes, the physical package is nice and all but after a few dates, there has to be something more there.
This is probably why I was so intrigued by online dating in some ways. I usually refuse to post a picture. I want to be judged by what I say, not how I look. The one time I posted an ad with a photo, I got responses from guys who were just responding to the photo and not to anything I had written. I'm sorry but I can get that walking into a bar or club. Heck. I can get that walking down the street.
In recent years I have had conversations with my mother on this topic.
"You just don't notice, do you? That guy almost broke his neck trying to get another look at you."
"Yes, they do that. It's not important though."
Experience has taught me that those guys could care less about what I think, what I feel. And I point out to my mother that in the end, these are the things that really matter. Despite all of her faults, she has given me the strength to be happy with who I am and to not accept anyone who cannot see the beauty in that alone.
Back to Jade. When Jade and I graduated college, I had a conversation with my mom about the whole dynamic when we go out. Jade has always been outgoing. I am a natural introvert. It took me years to learn to be this outgoing. My mother said at that point, "But you have always been cuter than Jade. The difference is your personalities." Jade has always been about acquaintances while I wanted friends. Also Jade's parents were a lot better actors. Or perhaps she was better at not internalizing the stuff going on at home than I was. Either way, I ended up a lot more guarded and slower to make choices about people. I guess that's what I've always loved about Jade -- her ability to live in the moment, to not want to go too deep.
We complement each other. Jade, at heart, is the true partygirl and I was just along for the ride -- a pretender to the throne. No, I was the brains of the operation, always coming up with the plan of how we would get away with our latest hairbrain scheme. Our mothers thought that we were a bad influence on each other. As adults, we told them that we share the blame for everything equally.
David has a hard time imagining 40. I did too when I was his age. Mostly because I didn't imagine that I would ever live that long. I spent my teens and 20s being highly self-destructive -- "Die young and leave a beautiful corpse." My aunt who calls me "The Diva" -- we talk about those times. It wasn't aging that scared me; it was living because sometimes in life, things are not in your control. And no matter how old I get, I know that I will always be beautiful. Because only a beautiful person could look at some screaming homeless guy, like I did last Thursday night, and say, "I will not give you money but if you are hungry like you say you are, then we can go around the corner to the market at the gas station and I will pay for whatever food you want." It took a lot of convincing but as he went through the store, he was as happy as a kid picking out a new toy.
And so I like to think that I am beautiful in my actions and not how I look. (Heck. With the Clairol I can still pass for being in my 20s to most folks.) Beauty is making sure that a soldier has a comfy seat for the ride home. Every now and then true beauty is found in the pages of some magazine proclaiming who is dating whom or who has given birth. But often it's not. That's just entertainment.
I often find myself thinking about my friendship with Jade. If I had met her later in life, I'm not sure that we would still be friends. Jade was, is, and probably always will be, very superficial. But that was her upbringing. I know this because she has been my friend since I was seven. Her family lived two houses away and we were always in and out of each other's houses. I have heard the statements that her mother makes. Her mother is all about appearances. Well, mine is too but not to the same extent that Jade's mother is. Jade's mother is saditty. Nah, actually she's bougie. (And this is why Jade will probably never read this blog. Because the truth can be painful.) So Jade's mom often sat around with her nose in the air, looking down on us plebians, or so she imagined us, and told her daughter how pretty she was.
I had a twisted upbringing during which my mother never allowed people to compliment me on my physical appearance. Turns out that folks actually thought I was cute, but also a little intimidating. Because of my upbringing, I hit college thinking that I was not physically attractive. That was OK though because I learned to appreciate the people who liked me for me and not for what they saw. It gave me the insight to see past the outer shell in others as well. Through my 20s and 30s I have often found the need to explain my choices in whom I date to others. "But you're too cute to be going out with him." Yes, the physical package is nice and all but after a few dates, there has to be something more there.
This is probably why I was so intrigued by online dating in some ways. I usually refuse to post a picture. I want to be judged by what I say, not how I look. The one time I posted an ad with a photo, I got responses from guys who were just responding to the photo and not to anything I had written. I'm sorry but I can get that walking into a bar or club. Heck. I can get that walking down the street.
In recent years I have had conversations with my mother on this topic.
"You just don't notice, do you? That guy almost broke his neck trying to get another look at you."
"Yes, they do that. It's not important though."
Experience has taught me that those guys could care less about what I think, what I feel. And I point out to my mother that in the end, these are the things that really matter. Despite all of her faults, she has given me the strength to be happy with who I am and to not accept anyone who cannot see the beauty in that alone.
Back to Jade. When Jade and I graduated college, I had a conversation with my mom about the whole dynamic when we go out. Jade has always been outgoing. I am a natural introvert. It took me years to learn to be this outgoing. My mother said at that point, "But you have always been cuter than Jade. The difference is your personalities." Jade has always been about acquaintances while I wanted friends. Also Jade's parents were a lot better actors. Or perhaps she was better at not internalizing the stuff going on at home than I was. Either way, I ended up a lot more guarded and slower to make choices about people. I guess that's what I've always loved about Jade -- her ability to live in the moment, to not want to go too deep.
We complement each other. Jade, at heart, is the true partygirl and I was just along for the ride -- a pretender to the throne. No, I was the brains of the operation, always coming up with the plan of how we would get away with our latest hairbrain scheme. Our mothers thought that we were a bad influence on each other. As adults, we told them that we share the blame for everything equally.
David has a hard time imagining 40. I did too when I was his age. Mostly because I didn't imagine that I would ever live that long. I spent my teens and 20s being highly self-destructive -- "Die young and leave a beautiful corpse." My aunt who calls me "The Diva" -- we talk about those times. It wasn't aging that scared me; it was living because sometimes in life, things are not in your control. And no matter how old I get, I know that I will always be beautiful. Because only a beautiful person could look at some screaming homeless guy, like I did last Thursday night, and say, "I will not give you money but if you are hungry like you say you are, then we can go around the corner to the market at the gas station and I will pay for whatever food you want." It took a lot of convincing but as he went through the store, he was as happy as a kid picking out a new toy.
And so I like to think that I am beautiful in my actions and not how I look. (Heck. With the Clairol I can still pass for being in my 20s to most folks.) Beauty is making sure that a soldier has a comfy seat for the ride home. Every now and then true beauty is found in the pages of some magazine proclaiming who is dating whom or who has given birth. But often it's not. That's just entertainment.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Forever young
This was the quiz I was going to post this past Saturday but I was a little busy.
I'm not going to grow up. Nope. Not ever. That sanity thing does scare me though.
I'm not going to grow up. Nope. Not ever. That sanity thing does scare me though.
| You Are Big Bird |
 Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you live your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper." |
Monday, June 26, 2006
I thought wisdom came with age
Obviously I was mistaken. Thursday night I was a tad bored which is always a bad thing. I came up with the brilliant idea that my birthday started at midnight so I headed out. Oh, and the band that night was playing bossa nova, some of my absolute favorite music. Yes, I had fun but I paid for it on Friday.
I spent all day Friday at training and then had to drive to the airport to pick up my mother. To say that I was dead tired would be an understatement. On the whole drive my mother chattered on and on. I just wanted to tell her, "Shut up already." As promised we went to dinner -- her choice. My mom, besides being a control freak, is also queen of the 'burbs. Her choice for dinner? Outback Steakhouse. Then she announced that all she wanted was soup. I ordered my usual rack of lamb for which I was chastised. I had the audacity to order it medium rare -- about as done as I like meat. My mother wanted me to order it medium because she was hoping to eat some of my food. After all of that, I headed home and got in around 10. Before I lost my mind on Thursday night, my original plan had been to head out on Friday. I had to be at work at 9 on Saturday though. Seeing how tired I was, I decided it would be for the best if I went straight to bed. I already had plans with Jade and Emerald for Saturday night.
After going to training on Saturday morning, I came home for a nice nap. Then it was time to head out. My first thought of clothing was the leather pants. I just couldn't commit to a top to go with though. I ended up going with that cute dress that I picked up last fall instead. The important thing was that whatever I chose had to go with the bag. Oh, and strappy sandals so I could sprain my foot all over again. I tried to take a photo of the shoes while I was out but it was too dark.
We -- Jade, Emerald, this Spanish woman who works with Jade, and I -- started off at T-Rex. Our joke is that we are working our through the restaurants owned by these folks. Not only do they have tasty food but they also have tasty cocktails. The Sidecars were just what I needed after Friday with my mother. And they have fabulous mac and cheese as well. Jade said that she wouldn't recommend the place for a date but that's because she has issues with eating in front of guys. Well, she used to. Now she's been married for 12 years so I think she's kind of over it. Jade is probably what Eddie Murphy would have called a "salad bitch." ("No, I'm not really hungry. I'll just have a salad." Then the woman proceeds to eat half the food off the man's plate.) I have never been one of those. My male relatives will ask if I am sick if I eat anything less than a linebacker would.
After dinner, we headed over to Emeryville to hit Kitty's. Now this was a big deal because I have not been able to get Jade to go out to a club for a number of years. She has been saying that she will not go to a club until she gets her club body back. In her effort to obtain that effort she has been doing Jenny Craig and is about halfway to her goal. Back to Kitty's. I had been hearing a great deal about the place and have been wanting to check it out. Emerald has been there before for happy hour since she works in the area. Actually Kitty's was her suggestion. I think Emerald is fantastic because even though she is married and has a kid, she does not insist on acting like she has died.
Now the fun of heading out with the married folks is that they are always ready to head in early. Correction. Jade is always ready to head in early. I sometimes find it hard to believe that she used to be able to hang with me until the wee hours of the morning. And being the true friend that I am, I always held her hair. But Kitty's is a fab place because it brought out the old partygirl in Jade. Emerald and I had wanted to try the Ginger Mojitos but they were out of ginger. Can you imagine? We do recommend the Bees Knees though. (I think that was the name of the cocktail. Things are getting a little foggy.) We ended up meeting this group of lovely Ethiopian men. What is it about that country that they just turn out the most beautiful people? One of the guys gave me crap about my shoes -- something about tall women like myself and his sisters who insist upon wearing heels. He asked, "Why?" There is only one response. "Because we can." So I spent the evening standing well over 6' because I was wearing 4" heels. I also love that I was able to stand -- heck, dance -- in them all evening. Emerald and I ended up leaving her there on the dancefloor. Emerald needed to head home. I needed to move to a place a little closer to home. Did I mention that the wenches made me drive? Sheesh. When I told my aunt from Savannah this, she reminded me of her family's nickname for me -- The Diva. I explained to her that divas are not born but are made.
At my usual spot, I made Nicole sing "Crazy" for me because she was already doing country. There's nothing like a little Patsy toward the end of the evening. I also had to keep ducking this drunk Irish boy. He kept insisting that I kiss him. I did not have that many cocktails.
Somehow on Sunday I woke up around 9 a.m. So wrong in so many ways. By noon I felt that I had been up all day. By 1 p.m. I started thinking that perhaps I should head out again. Then I came to my senses and spent the day just relaxing. I even managed to tell my mother no when she called asking me to do things for her. So maybe I have gotten a little smarter over the years because 10 years ago I would have gone out again.
I spent all day Friday at training and then had to drive to the airport to pick up my mother. To say that I was dead tired would be an understatement. On the whole drive my mother chattered on and on. I just wanted to tell her, "Shut up already." As promised we went to dinner -- her choice. My mom, besides being a control freak, is also queen of the 'burbs. Her choice for dinner? Outback Steakhouse. Then she announced that all she wanted was soup. I ordered my usual rack of lamb for which I was chastised. I had the audacity to order it medium rare -- about as done as I like meat. My mother wanted me to order it medium because she was hoping to eat some of my food. After all of that, I headed home and got in around 10. Before I lost my mind on Thursday night, my original plan had been to head out on Friday. I had to be at work at 9 on Saturday though. Seeing how tired I was, I decided it would be for the best if I went straight to bed. I already had plans with Jade and Emerald for Saturday night.
After going to training on Saturday morning, I came home for a nice nap. Then it was time to head out. My first thought of clothing was the leather pants. I just couldn't commit to a top to go with though. I ended up going with that cute dress that I picked up last fall instead. The important thing was that whatever I chose had to go with the bag. Oh, and strappy sandals so I could sprain my foot all over again. I tried to take a photo of the shoes while I was out but it was too dark.
We -- Jade, Emerald, this Spanish woman who works with Jade, and I -- started off at T-Rex. Our joke is that we are working our through the restaurants owned by these folks. Not only do they have tasty food but they also have tasty cocktails. The Sidecars were just what I needed after Friday with my mother. And they have fabulous mac and cheese as well. Jade said that she wouldn't recommend the place for a date but that's because she has issues with eating in front of guys. Well, she used to. Now she's been married for 12 years so I think she's kind of over it. Jade is probably what Eddie Murphy would have called a "salad bitch." ("No, I'm not really hungry. I'll just have a salad." Then the woman proceeds to eat half the food off the man's plate.) I have never been one of those. My male relatives will ask if I am sick if I eat anything less than a linebacker would.
After dinner, we headed over to Emeryville to hit Kitty's. Now this was a big deal because I have not been able to get Jade to go out to a club for a number of years. She has been saying that she will not go to a club until she gets her club body back. In her effort to obtain that effort she has been doing Jenny Craig and is about halfway to her goal. Back to Kitty's. I had been hearing a great deal about the place and have been wanting to check it out. Emerald has been there before for happy hour since she works in the area. Actually Kitty's was her suggestion. I think Emerald is fantastic because even though she is married and has a kid, she does not insist on acting like she has died.
Now the fun of heading out with the married folks is that they are always ready to head in early. Correction. Jade is always ready to head in early. I sometimes find it hard to believe that she used to be able to hang with me until the wee hours of the morning. And being the true friend that I am, I always held her hair. But Kitty's is a fab place because it brought out the old partygirl in Jade. Emerald and I had wanted to try the Ginger Mojitos but they were out of ginger. Can you imagine? We do recommend the Bees Knees though. (I think that was the name of the cocktail. Things are getting a little foggy.) We ended up meeting this group of lovely Ethiopian men. What is it about that country that they just turn out the most beautiful people? One of the guys gave me crap about my shoes -- something about tall women like myself and his sisters who insist upon wearing heels. He asked, "Why?" There is only one response. "Because we can." So I spent the evening standing well over 6' because I was wearing 4" heels. I also love that I was able to stand -- heck, dance -- in them all evening. Emerald and I ended up leaving her there on the dancefloor. Emerald needed to head home. I needed to move to a place a little closer to home. Did I mention that the wenches made me drive? Sheesh. When I told my aunt from Savannah this, she reminded me of her family's nickname for me -- The Diva. I explained to her that divas are not born but are made.
At my usual spot, I made Nicole sing "Crazy" for me because she was already doing country. There's nothing like a little Patsy toward the end of the evening. I also had to keep ducking this drunk Irish boy. He kept insisting that I kiss him. I did not have that many cocktails.
Somehow on Sunday I woke up around 9 a.m. So wrong in so many ways. By noon I felt that I had been up all day. By 1 p.m. I started thinking that perhaps I should head out again. Then I came to my senses and spent the day just relaxing. I even managed to tell my mother no when she called asking me to do things for her. So maybe I have gotten a little smarter over the years because 10 years ago I would have gone out again.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Happy birthday, Chico DeBarge and Ted Shackelford!
Oh, and happy birthday to me too. It has finally arrived. The big one. FORTY. How am I ever going to start celebrating? Oh yeah. I guess I have for several months. It all started during the sabbatical (or my pretend retirement as I like to think of it)earlier this year.
And wouldn't you know it? Yep, there's a quiz for your birthdate. (Yes, I know it's a bit early for the quiz but if things go right, I will not have time to post over this weekend.)
Enjoy! I plan to spend the evening with mojitos, sidecars, gimlets, and whatever else strikes my fancy.
And wouldn't you know it? Yep, there's a quiz for your birthdate. (Yes, I know it's a bit early for the quiz but if things go right, I will not have time to post over this weekend.)
 You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem. You're good at so much - you never know what to do. Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long. You are destined for a life of travel and fun. Your strength: Your likeability Your weakness: You never feel satisfied Your power color: Bright yellow Your power symbol: Asterisk Your power month: May |
Enjoy! I plan to spend the evening with mojitos, sidecars, gimlets, and whatever else strikes my fancy.
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