Things to try

I received this list in an email from my dad today. Well, first he read it to me over the phone while I was driving home. In between squeals of laughter, I insisted that he forward it to me.

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In'.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds'.

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To Go'

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital. And ask why the poems don't rhyme?

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling,'Run for your lives! They're loose!'

19. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity... Send this e-mail to someone to make them smile. It's called ... therapy.

At my first real job, I was frequently guilty of #9. Also, the hallway had alternating black and white tiles. Sometimes instead of skipping, I'd play hopscotch down the hall. This would be the same job at which whenever I proclaimed, "I think I'm losing my mind," the benefits manager would respond, "How can you lose something that was gone long ago?"

People are always asking me at work where my inbox is. I don't have one. So #4 is sounding pretty good as well.

#3 sounds pretty good as well. But would the variation of, "Do you want to supersize that?" work?

Also I've been meaning to decorate my office. I think #14 is just the theme I have been wanting.

Why did my dad think of me when he read this list? "You're about crazy enough to do most of these things."