Friday, September 21, 2007

You go back, Jack ...

Sometimes one has to experience a mistake a second time in order to understand fully that it is indeed a mistake. Such was the case yesterday.

Last night I had to pick my mom up from the airport. (Yes, we are speaking again.) After we arrived at the house, she asked about our sit-down with my dad. I told her that I think that he was waiting for her to return before scheduling it. Knowing my dad, he'll decide that since my mother and I are speaking again, the sit-down is unnecessary. Not. My mother also tried to talk me into spending the night at her house since it was late. It wouldn't have been so late if her flight had been on time but it was an hour late. I desperately wanted to get home though so I left. Besides I knew it was that magical hour during which there are actually parking choices in my neighborhood.

The drive home started off pretty well. I thought about some of the things I wanted to discuss with my mother when my father is present. Like how I have finally and truly embraced happiness. It took the mention of moving to make me realize it all. And the fact that come March I will have lived in this place for three years. That's a true record for me. Usually after a year in one place, I have wanted to move. But not now. Because after all these years, I have finally found a place that feels like home to me. I just can't imagine living anywhere else. It's a strange feeling since it's so foreign to me. And now knowing this has made me realize that I am truly happy.

And then I got that text message on the drive home. Retail Boy was in town. I sent him a message explaining that I was rather tired. So he called. Wanting to know what I had saved up on the DVR. And then I remembered that there had been the season finale of "Burn Notice." Suddenly I was wide awake. And I, like a fool, decided that it would be OK to have some company with whom I could watch TV. Just watch TV. Guess I should have made that clear.

He showed up shortly after I got home and proceeded to irritate the hell out of me. Like talking in an outside voice. Over me. He did most of the talking. Every time I tried to say something, he would try to interrupt in a much louder voice than mine. And I thought to myself, "What an ass." Every now and then he would make these stupid proclamations. I would correct him. He would respond with, "I knew that." And I thought to myself, "What an ass."

And did I get to see "Burn Notice?" Noooo. Because the ass wanted to see "Rock of Love." But the last episode was rather hilarious so I was willing to watch it again. And then he was at a loss as to why I noticed more in the show than he did. Perhaps I know how to listen while I'm talking. So maybe he should just shut the fuck up.

My favorite part of the evening was while he was watching Lacey's crazy ass dad, he kept saying, "I want to be a really good dad." OK. That part is kind of sane. Then he followed it up with, "Everyone keeps telling me I would be a really good dad." Didn't we have a conversation about "everyone" last summer? And this of course was after watching the end of Friday that made him say that the movie made him want to do drugs again. I guess he never caught that Robin Williams bit about parents who do drugs.

So he ended up getting his panties in a wad when I called him out over the talking over me shit. "I can't believe that you're saying that. I've been a perfect gentleman." Ummm. Gentlemen, in my book, do not try to interrupt you. "But I've listened to everything you said." Well, then act like it, you ass.

In the future if I say that I have answered his text or call, could someone please come along and slap me? Thank you.

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