Choices

I started off writing another post for today. Perhaps one day I will actually post it. Maybe I won't. For the most part, I saw it as exorcising my personal demons. I have always written when I am trying to deal with something. It's just that it seems like there are so many things that I am trying to deal with currently so I decided to go with this topic first. Probably because I don't feel as vulnerable -- something I hate to feel -- with this one. So hang on because this one is probably going to be a long one.

Last week I was hanging out in a coworker's office when one of her friends called. They got into a conversation about religious beliefs. He asked her to ask me a question. I gave an answer and she relayed my answer. We went back and forth like this for five minutes. Then my answer was too complex for my coworker to relay and she handed the phone to me. I continued in a heated debate with her friend for about 20 minutes at this point. One of his questions was what makes us human. I told him free will and the ability to make choices. But it is more than the ability to make choices. It is the ability to live with the consequences of our choices. Later in the conversation, he asked what exactly I did for a living. I told him that it really was none of his business. (Ooo. Suddenly I have Salt 'n' Pepa going through my head.) He tried to argue that what you do for a living defines you as a person. I just don't buy that and told him as much. Sure sometimes what you do for a living really does define you but I like to think that for most people this is not a complete definition of the person.

Over the past week I have read a great deal of posts about weight and body image. Well not that many posts but the posts I have read have generated quite a great deal of comments. Hey. I have lots of free time during my day so I like to keep abreast of the comments as well.

There have been comments about overweight people. Comments about how they are that way because of the choices they make. There have been comments about how women who wear a size 2 or 4 are too thin. There have been comments about what is "normal." I have chosen to put this word in quotes because I think it is a completely subjective term. I have problems with this term because it implies that anything outside of this range is not normal.

For some women being a size 2 is "normal." At the same time some women are most "normal" at being a size 14. A few years ago everyone became obsessed with the BMI. I always thought that there was something wrong with the "normal" weight for my height on this chart. Over the last few weeks, I found this site. I like it because it takes a lot of things into consideration, not just height and weight.

Growing up I was always teased about my height and my thinness. I have never said disparaging things about another woman about her weight because I know how it feels to be the recipient of those kind of comments.

My mother has struggled to maintain what she considered to be a healthy look. In her 30s she was obsessed with her weight. Now in her 60s, she looks at how her clothes fit and how she feels. She has learned that when she is in shape, she may actually weigh more than she did previously. And that's OK with her.

For all my complaints about my mother, one of the things I have thanked her for is being comfortable in my body. Part of her weight problems when I was growing up stemmed from unhealthy food choices so she made it a point to educate me on how to make the right kind of choices. She also felt that one should not deny one's self anything either. We are both huge fans of Haagen Dazs. It's all about balance. When she was younger, my mom would deny herself certain foods. Now she allows these things within moderation.

These things are important to me because not only do I come from a family with a history of cancer but also a history of diabetes and high blood pressure. I have a cousin with type 2 diabetes who has been told recently that he will have to go onto insulin. My dad, who is also diabetic, attributes this to a lack of exercise and dietary control. Me? I insist that the doctor do a fasting glucose test when I go for a physical. According to the last test, I am borderline hypoglycemic. This means that I try to not skip meals. I can't because when I do, I feel like I'm about to pass out. I characterize myself as a grazer, constantly eating. Too long between meals and I tend to become cranky. That is probably an understatement but I cannot think of a stronger word at this moment.

The bottom line is that there is a wide range of what is considered healthy. We also have the ability to make choices (Actually this idea is closely tied to the post I originally planned to make.) and we live with those choices. If someone does not like you for a choice that you have chosen to make, and your choice does not harm them in any way, then that person does not need to be in your life. At least that's what I think.