And then it all went downhill

Eggs Louie

This weekend was in many ways supposed to be a mom weekend. Right now a whole weekend of my mother can be rather trying. I spent days trying to get myself ready for it all emotionally. I failed.

Yesterday was not originally supposed to be about my mom. I had hoped to go to Sacramento. But my mom has always been jealous of my stepmother. She would never understand how I could cancel out on doing something that I had previously promised that I would do for her so that I could go see my stepmother. And more importantly, to see my dad. Because in the past when I have had to cancel out on my mom, I get to hear her say in a petulant voice, "But you promised..."

I had planned on taking care of all of my mom's crap last weekend. Thing is that I wasn't feeling well last weekend. I tried to explain this to my mother when I showed up. Her response was, "Have you felt this way for days? Well, you showed up to work and you didn't complain to them so I don't want to hear it." She then offered to take me to Thrive! but I told her that I wasn't sick enough for a doctor's; I just needed bed rest. She basically told me to suck it up. The second time we got into this conversation, I walked and went back home to bed. But I felt bad about not taking care of her whole list so I went back yesterday.

Yesterday was also combined as a movie outing. We went to see The Secret Life of Bees. I read the book years ago and had forgotten just how many sad moments there were in the story. I probably spent at least half the movie in some sort of tears. But at least I didn't walk away from it saying to myself, "This is such a letdown from the book." I think overall it stayed pretty true to the book. My mom was slightly peeved with me for not warning her how sad the story is. My response was, "But I brought you extra napkins from the snack bar."

This morning I got up at what is ass crack of dawn for me on a Sunday -- 9 AM. Why? Because Zombie Mom was running the Nike half-marathon in San Francisco. There was no way possible that I could be up early enough to cheer her on at the various points along the race but I knew that I could meet her and the rest of the Zombie family for brunch after the race. Also meeting her at the finish line would have meant that I would have to drive. Today my car could not move. More about that later.

The photo above is of my brunch selection over at Stacks in Hayes Valley. Not only did I get up at ass crack of dawn, but I did some walking as well. I was about to include the walk to the Berkeley BART station but that's only four blocks away -- in case you potential stalkers are interested. Fastest way to Hayes Valley on PT? Get off BART at Civic Center and hoof it the rest of the way. I did this without the aid of caffeine.

Seeing Zombie Mom flashing her Tiffany's bling? Hello? You get a pendant from Tiffany's for completing? Almost enough to get my lazy ass up and running. Key word here is "almost." Because while I love that little blue box, there are limits.

But most importantly, I got to see my favorite parts of the Zombie family -- the Commander and Lala. (Sorry about that Zombie Mom.) Because I have come to realize that through all of the crap over the last few months, those two are a large part of what has kept me tethered in the here and now. I love them because I realize that if I had kids, they would be like them. I also don't have kids because I realize that they would be just like them.

Then it was time to head back to Berkeley. I met this wonderful gay couple from Austin at the BART station in San Francisco. We helped this woman navigate her way through the system. Once we were finally on a Richmond train, I told them that I had been fascinated by Austin for years. A friend from undergrad -- OK. So he was a major crush -- had ended up there. He told me at the time that Austin was like Berkeley in the middle of Texas. The couple told me that in Austin, they always like to compare themselves to San Francisco but that Berkeley was probably the more apt comparison. They also bemoaned the gentrification of Austin. It's driving all the quirkiness out of the city. And that offbeat kind of vibe? That's what makes cities like Berkeley and Austin what they are.

So I stepped off the train to start part two of the mom weekend. Because today was The Spice of Life Festival. I have never missed this festival since moving to Berkeley. The first year, I attended it alone. Every year since then, my mother has been in attendance. Not that I necessarily wanted her to be.

My mother's worst traits come out at street fairs. "They want how much for this item? The food is crap. The music is crap." But I have heard this every year so in some ways I was prepared.

I met my mother at the BART station and we began our trek. I kept waiting for her to tell me how much she hates my hair worn in this way but then I remembered she had already told me that last weekend. It's all about tearing me down. Don't say that to her though. She will tell you how she had been nothing but supportive of me. And in some ways, she has been.

So we started our way through the fair. The food was overpriced. The Obama t-shirt, at $20, was overpriced. This after she complained about the long walk from the downtown Berkeley BART station to the fair. (Number one. I live north of the BART station but I met her there. Number two. The walk from the start of the fair was no more than seven blocks. My mother is just a suburbanite who just needs to suck it up.)

We finally found food that was a value in my mom's eyes. She then started to mention that it would be nice to sit down. I found her a table and then said that I was off to search for food for myself. Specifically potato puffs from Gregoire. After checking the last few stands that I had not previously, I headed to Gregoire. Right after I placed my order, I realized that perhaps there was a slight fiasco. But my mother was more than a block away enjoying her food so I stayed. And I waited. Once I had potato puffs in hand, I headed to a stand for the lemonade my mother had requested.

Upon returning to the table, my mother was nowhere to be seen. She is also too cheap to carry a cellphone. (Actually she's too cheap for a lot of things but is really big on telling you about how poor she is.) So I sat down at the table to wait for her return. In between, I called Zombie Mom. I just knew that my mother would be pissed off with me when she returned. I was right.

After I had been at the table for about 15 minutes, my mother showed up. And then screamed out, "Where have you been?" I said, "Getting food -- and your drink." She didn't like the tone of my answer and so said, "I don't need to put up with your sass." In my mind, I thought, "Kiss mine, bitch." Instead I answered with telling her about waiting for her at the table at which I had last seen her. And apparently all my responses were disrespectful, so I said, "I am sorry for not catering to you every second of the day today." (Ummm. I told y'all that I can get real bitchy at times.) And then she said some crap back and I said, "Next time I'll be sure to check in with you beforehand so that you can plan each second of the day." That was me being nice. I had wanted to add, "This is why no one else wants to do anything with you." Which would have been true but really hurtful.

My mother's response was to walk off but not before asking for the phone. I shit you not. Once I got my iPhone, my mother has been bugging me about what I was going to do with my old phone. She kept telling me how I should give it to her. And this is one of the other things that pisses me off as far as my mother is concerned. I get something -- either through my work or my father -- and she feels like she has earned a piece of it all. It is my obligation to share with her -- and no one else. I briefly thought about telling her, "Hell no," as far as the phone is concerned but then I decided that I am the bigger person and gave it to her. (There is still a part of me that thinks that I have "sucker" written on my forehead.) A minute later after storming off, my mother returned to ask if I still would buy the Bed, Bath & Beyond gift cards off of her. I pulled out the cash and took the cards. I then told her that the stuff she wanted me to come to Pacifica tomorrow for? Leave that stuff at her house. I don't need to see my mom anymore this trip.

After my mom left the fair, I was in such a foul mood that I didn't want to be there. I was blocks from home so I went there. And along the walk, I fought back the tears. Because when I'm really mad, I cry. Once home, I started making phone calls. But no one was available. Except for that one person. And so in desperation, I called my dad. Because there was no one else.

And so my dad and I talked about how bad things are with my stepmother. And how he's just dealing. And then we talked about my mother. How she is so obviously lonely. And how that's all about her and not us.

My dad started talking the steps. How we should not care about those things over which we have no power. Instead we should concentrate our energy on those things we can change. And also realizing that we cannot change others.

And this is why I love my father. Even when I know that he is dealing with pain beyond his imagining, he can still find it in himself to point me in the right direction.

Even though my father's words did a great deal, I am still trying to pick myself up form the place in which I was left after my interactions with my mother. Because since walking away from her, I have found myself crying. Thank goodness she's going back to Mexico on Tuesday.

But now she's crawling back in. Just as I was ready to post this, I listened to a voicemail that my mom left. A family friend has had a heart attack and is in the hospital. When will it all end? Because just when I think that I have nothing left it me, something else happens.

There will be more food

Just not tonight. Tonight I have been toying around with loads of thoughts. So here goes.

This post all start from being angry -- at myself, at others. Then I reminded myself that I was trying to move past being that person. Deep breath.

A few weeks ago my dad sent me an email about a documentary that was coming out. It sounded fascinating and so I passed the email onto some friends. One of these friends then wrote back saying that she wanted to see the movie. (No, Zombie Mom, it was not you.) Correction. Two friends stated interest. One -- who was not Zombie Mom -- started discussing when we could go see it. The first weekend didn't work for her. I expressed concern since it wasn't a huge blockbuster. "Who knows if it will be playing the next weekend?" Fortunately for her it was. Unfortunately she could not make it to the movie that weekend either. (Here's where I was going to go into a tirade about her husband. And then I was going to end with why at times like these, I'm glad that I'm not married.) I decided to be OK with it since the film did win an award at Sundance. Then yesterday I checked the listings for this weekend. The film is no longer showing in Berkeley; last night was the end of the run. (Insert in here a tirade about how I hate trying to make plans with my married friends. There could also be a whole discussion of how this mirrors my relationship with my dad when I was growing up after my parents' divorce.) I didn't call the friend yesterday though. Let's get real. She wasn't going to head out to a movie last night. I toyed with the idea of going to catch it alone last night but I was too tired. I did call tonight though. She immediately said, "You know the movie thing? I'm not going to be able to make it tomorrow like I said after all."

Good thing I had already come up with a contingency plan. Yes, it's no longer playing in Berkeley but it's still playing in the Bay Area. So I decided yesterday that I'll just head over to Marin County tomorrow evening to catch it there. And I think I should take myself out to dinner beforehand. I have never had any problem with doing things on my own. Hell. If it wasn't for the friend, I probably would have gone to see the film the first weekend it opened -- alone. So if anyone has any restaurant recommendations for the Larkspur area, I'd love to hear them.

The whole thing has left some questions in my mind though. If I'm so good at dealing with and doing stuff on my own, why are they still in my life? Are they really necessary or are they merely accessories at this point? * I'm starting to think that it's time to move on with my life. And that just may mean new friends.

* Yeah, I know I can be a bitch. If by being a bitch, you mean brutally honest. Live with it.

One of those days

First of all, I must say that these days are becoming less frequent. But they're still here. What kind of days? The ones during which I miss my aunt. A lot.

I'm trying my best to put my thoughts into some sort of order in between the sobs. Because with order, maybe I can make the sobbing stop. And because I had plans for today that did not involve curling up in a ball in bed for the entire day.

It probably all started a few days ago when I was talking to my dad. He started talking about his parents and my aunt. His big thing these days is about how he's so happy that I got to spend as much time as I did with his parents. He's just finally realized what a big impact that my grandparents had on my life. I think it was my aunt's death that made him realize this.

My father was devastated when his mother died. My stepmother had no clue what to do, what to say. At least that's what she told me. Then again, this is a woman who didn't even bother to attend my grandmother's funeral. So I helped my father deal with his grief and I dealt with mine alone for the most part.

If things were different, I would try to talk to my dad about all of this. His wife is dying, though, and he's dealing with his crazy ass in-laws. He has more than enough on his plate. He doesn't need my crap as well. So I lie to him when he asks how I am. I tell he doesn't need to be concerned when he says that he's worried about me.

Friday afternoon my former supervisor stopped by my office. He asked how I was doing and quickly took the question back. He knows. He's lost a lot of family members to cancer. How do I answer that question when asked? "Fine." "Coping." "Taking each day as it comes." What else is there to say?

We then talked about movies. He said that a few months after one of his relatives died, he made the mistake of seeing My Life. He ended up having a complete meltdown in a movie theater. I told him that I've been trying to stick to comedies and action flicks lately. I then mentioned that perhaps I should try to avoid Stepmom and I felt a tear slide down my cheek. Wouldn't you know that the movie was on some cable channel yesterday. I didn't watch it though. I did try to watch Soul Food though. That lasted for about 15 minutes and then I had to find something else. It just hurt too much.

I've tried to fill my days with classes and volunteering. Oh, and cooking. But cooking is another trigger. I don't really know how to cook in small quantities. There's only so much my freezer can hold as well. I often delivered the surplus to my aunt.

I started this practice when she was first diagnosed with cancer. At that time I worked about a ten minute drive away from her house so I would stop by after work. When I started working farther away, Sundays became the day that I would most likely stop by. I would call to make sure she would be in. When I mentioned a delivery, she would ask, "What's on the menu at the restaurant today?" I would drop off the containers of food and pick up the empty containers from previous weeks. And then we would sip tea and talk. That's what I miss. Our talks. I still find myself picking up the phone to call her at times. And then I remember.

This week I've really wanted to talk to her -- especially today. She spent most of her career teaching people how to empower themselves. She wanted there to be an even playing field -- for everyone regardless of ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation or any of the myriad ways in which we try to classify one another. She didn't like to watch the evening news because she said it was so filled with negativity. It doesn't mean that she wasn't aware of what was going on in the world. She just wanted to believe that we -- society in general -- could be better than those images she saw on the news.

In the past week there has been a great deal of discussion about privilege on the internet. As I read the first piece, I wanted to call my aunt. We had had this discussion for too many years to count. And finally it looked like everyone else was talking about it as well. My hope in people was renewed.

Then the discussion continued and I became frustrated and saddened. Now I really wanted to talk to my aunt. I wanted her to remind me that this is part of the discussion. Yes, the discussion is often phrased in terms of black and white. That's because that has the longest history in our country. Even if it is only put in these terms does not mean that it doesn't include all of us though. People will feel that they're under attack and become defensive. Some people will never really get it no matter how many ways you try to explain it to them. That's OK though. Those people usually end up being the minority. As long as I can believe that most of us can reach that point of consensus, then I can still have hope. Because I got to thinking that if you can't believe in the possibility of something difference, then what's the point of it all? Why try? Why do anything?

I had to remind myself that this is what living is though. Being a part of it all. Sounding like a broken record because maybe someday someone will finally pay attention. I thought about how it's just so overwhelming to try to change society as a whole. I can handle it one person at a time though.

Now I'm OK with the frustration. These problems didn't happen overnight. Nor will the solution.

And the sobbing has been replaced with the occasional quiet tear so maybe this has done it's job. Right now I don't miss my aunt as much. I just needed to remind myself that she's not really gone since she's so much of who I am.

Probably for the second time ever, I am turning off comments. Today I'm not much in the mood for dialogue, but tomorrow I probably will be. This was a hard decision because I figure that if I throw something out into the universe, then I should be willing to discuss it. This just isn't one of those days though.

With that, I'm off to do laundry and more cooking. The surplus? I'll probably take some to my mom. And maybe I'll bring some into work tomorrow.

Finding balance in the PRB*

I suddenly have a lot of posts bouncing around in my head -- perhaps because my weekend was so full. I thought I'd start with the easy one first.

Today was "me" day. The family members who I know really care are totally respectful of this idea. The idea that at least one day a week has to be completely mine. If I have that, then I can deal with all of the rest of the stuff.

I awoke at 8:00 a.m. with all these thoughts of what needed to be done. By noon after much thought, I realized that they didn't need to be done today. Well, especially those things that involve driving. Those can wait until tomorrow evening when I will be in my car because I have to drive to work. So I caught up on TV viewing and took a nap.

Around 4:00 I headed out to the library. I finally managed to finish two of the Stephanie Plum books I had checked out weeks ago. Only four more to go and I will be caught up on the series. Of course, returning the books could have waited until tomorrow as well as I pass the library on my way to work every morning. But I had items on hold. This would be a result of the Netflix meltdown during this past week. It dawned on me that some of the older titles on my list might just be available at the public library. They were -- and were already checked out so I put in hold requests. But this is just the why of the walk. The walk itself was the more important part to me.

As I neared the BART station, I could hear the sounds of music over a P.A. system. The "Free Tibet" group was set up there once more. Apparently this is the new hot protesting thing in Berkeley. There haven't been protests in front of the Marines recruiting center for months. And somehow magically around the same time that those ended, the "Free Tibet" marches started. The one I saw on Friday night as I was leaving for Sacramento was at least two blocks long. Anywho. I gladly took a flyer from one of the adorable children handing them out. Actually it was more of a race as two of the kids made a beeline for me, rushing to see who could get to me first. It made me smile. Enough that the homeless guy I passed had to comment. Something along the lines of, "Keep on smiling. Yeah. I'm talking to you."

The return was all about food. I needed gelato. Really. But Naia is still down to two cases instead of the three they used to have and there was no cardamom. *sigh* So I trudged on.

There was a quick stop at Astronomico's (This is Marin's name for the place and I kind of like it.) to pick up canned food. I just didn't have the energy to walk to Berkeley Bowl to save fifty cents a can. Besides I just needed a few to tie me over until I could stop at Berkeley Bowl on my way home from work this week. But I thought of Zombie Mom while in the store as I saw a woman pulling a child in a red wagon down an aisle.

And I remembered how I didn't get the tuna the last time I hit my fave takeout spot. But I still needed gelato -- and maybe sorbet -- so I headed over to Ciao Bella. And I guess it was a good thing that Naia didn't have the flavor I wanted because I suddenly remembered that if I used my debit card at Ciao Bella, I could earn airline miles. By the way, I ended up with blood orange sorbet and rose petal gelato, if you're interested.

On my way home with all of my goodies (Tucked away into one of the many tote bags I received while teaching. I felt so "Berkeley."), I saw what was probably the most interesting site. A woman was power-washing the sidewalk in front of her house. I found myself thinking, "Aren't we supposed to be conserving water? How did she get into Berkeley? I mean at Marin's house they have a bucket in the tub to catch some of the runoff water from the shower to use for watering." OK. I mostly thought this because I was forced to walk in the street. Her back was to me and she could not hear me approaching because of the noise of the washer. So while walking in the street to avoid getting wet, I thought of the other stuff.

Ahhh. But how to conclude this all? As I feasted on the tuna, eggplant and potato puffs, I got sucked into "Confessions of a Go-Go Girl" on Lifetime. By the end I had a few questions. Because even a cheesy Lifetime movie leaves me asking questions.

Are all women who take their clothes off for a living unhappy? Why do people say it's degrading? Aren't you "selling yourself" at just about any job? But then I got to thinking about how women our often objectified in our society. It all gets back to that double standard. Women are being told that men like them to act in a certain way and then are punished for doing exactly that. Oh, and please do not mention religious morality to me. Those books were written by men. And no, I am not trashing religion. It's just that I have issues with a man writing about how a woman should behave and then masking it all in religious beliefs. Or those men who choose to interpret passages in this manner.

So this is the stuff I will be pondering while I write my next couple of posts. Until then.

* Whenever I use the acronym "PRB," I always mean "The People's Republic of Berkeley." It's from my childhood. No matter for what others may now use the acronym, it will always mean this to me. Maybe one day I'll get around to adding a glossary to the sidebar.

Altered plans

So here it is the holiday weekend and I have already possibly written my next two posts. Or so I thought. Because this was not supposed to be the next post but it is so I suppose that I should just get on with it. Because my next therapy session is more than a week away.

It was supposed to be a quiet evening of relaxation. I had eaten dinner and was sipping a second glass of wine while watching PS I Love You with Dumb curled up on the floor at my feet. And then my cellphone rang. I briefly thought about not answering but idiot that I am, I did.

Last Sunday my father took my stepmother to the hospital because she had nonchalantly mentioned a couple of sores on her legs. My father took one look at them and took her to the doctor. They put her on penicillin. And then on Monday morning my dad left town on a planned trip. Tuesday, my stepmother's brother decided that things didn't look quite right so he took her to the doctor again. And then my dad took her again on Thursday. Thursday they said that everything was looking OK. And then they called yesterday. They ran a culture on the infection and discovered that it is a staph infection. Great. The woman with a compromised immune system, thanks to the steroids they have been throwing down her throat to alleviate the brain swelling, now has a staph infection.

Thank goodness I had had a couple of glasses of wine because I had less of a filter than usual. Because this whole discussion started because of my dad freaking out over my stepmother's diarrhea today. After hearing it all, I replied, "Well, of course she has diarrhea. She's probably now on a broad spectrum antibiotic because of the staph infection. That means it's killing all of the bacteria -- good and bad -- in her body. You do realize that we all have helpful bacteria in our bodies?" And then I started thinking about other infections. "You should get her some cranberry juice. And some yogurt. With live culture." Oh, but my openness did not stop there. My dad shared that his older sister, who has been known to be quite the bitch, told him that he should stop sleeping in the same bed with his wife because of the infection. I know that part of her is concerned because my dad is a diabetic. But you know it has to be in some part due to her dislike of my stepmother over all of these years. I asked my dad if the wounds were dressed and if he had changed the linens. When he confirmed both, I told him to ignore his sister for now. They have slept in the same bed for over 20 years. I know the infection is a danger to him but I also don't want him blaming me for choosing to sleep in a different bed once she's gone. I did say that I understood his sister's concern though since people can actually die from staph infections. And so for the first time in all of our conversations during this process, I actually said the word "die."

I don't know about my dad, but I think that I am making great progress. And now that the movie is over, I need to find another chick flick to pop in. So that I can pretend that that's the real reason why I'm crying. Because that last one totally sucked when you've either been in relationships with crazy guys or have completely fucked up every decent relationship you've had in your life and the highlight of your Saturday night is to watch chick flicks alone. Maybe it's time to crank up the Janis Ian once more...

Huh?

Throughout the day today, I thought about writing this post. And as I thought about my day, I realized that some folks would think to themselves, "She's depressed? Really? Why ever?" And what made the day fantastic? The two events I wrote in on my planner for the day.

The first was lunch. I recently had to book a conference room at a nearby hotel for work. My boss pointed out that I should have insisted on a tour of the facilities so that I could get a free lunch. So I emailed the salesperson and lo and behold she said, "Sure. Just tell me the day. And we can have lunch at the restaurant." So I went for the tour. And met the the salesperson as well as the catering manager and the sales manager. In fact the sales manager joined us for lunch. Now get this. The restaurant's cuisine is "Japanese Mediterranean." I'll wait while you wrap your brains around that one. I went for the Japanese end of the spectrum and had some really great sushi and sashimi. The sales manager had his usual of a pork chop in a vermouth sauce. Since he joined us late, I was full by the time his food showed up. Otherwise I would have tasted it. But I know I'll be back. And on those trips I'll take photos of the food. Because the presentation was just as much a part of the experience as the taste of it all. (And yes, this was probably the most food that I have had in a single meal in over a week.) Oh, and because I told them that we have folks coming in from out of town periodically, we're going to be set up for the corporate rate on rooms.

At one point during the lunch conversation, I mentioned trying to find a hotel in the Union Square area during BlogHer. The salesperson gave me a list of recommendations. And said that she would check with her friend who is at a more boutique type place in the area to see if her friend can give me a rate. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job?

After work, I went to see about my old job. Remember that short film my students were working on last school year? Well, it's complete and tonight there was a screening. And I was really excited that this time I had a drive-on pass. And my kids' movie? Totally rocks. If you're in the area and decide to drop in, not only will you get a meal but you will then have to watch their movie. Because I have it on DVD. The kids asked me and Queenie to come back for their sixth grade promotion next month. I'll need to check on the date. I went back for my first students' eighth grade promotion. I know that I'll go back for this one as well. Oh crap! My first students will be graduating from high school next year. I guess I'd better start penciling that in. Because yeah, I still occasionally get emails from former students.

And what else does one do when one is feeling blue? Why give dating another try, of course. I think I may have timed it right too. Because this time around most of my stalkers on OKCupid are in the 25-45 age range. And y'all know how much I love that range. With that said, here are my latest quiz results.

Your Score: JackAntelope

You scored 48Agression, 60 Speed, 39 Intelligence and 50 Strength!

You are fast... in bed.

Link: The What animal hybrid are you? Test written by eagleshark on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(eagleshark)

Should I be concerned?

Feeling like myself again

Now that I seemed to have finally reached a "normal" sleep pattern, I'm starting to feel a lot like myself. Me without sleep? A real shrew. I still won't say "good morning" at work because I still believe that a "good" morning is one during which I don't have to go to work. Might be why the operations manager calls me a spoiled brat. I tell him that he can kiss my ass. My friend, Marin, tried to warn me a couple of weeks ago that I had not been around long enough to respond in that way.

Thing is I know his type. He likes to dish it out and anyone who can serve it back equally while doing his/her job competently instantly wins his respect. In fact, he was one of the folks singing my highest praises when I got my promotion. When I worked in his department, we ate lunch together almost every day. I know about his family and he about mine. He is the only person who actually saw me cry in the office after my stepmother was hospitalized last month. And I have learned that he and his wife are the parents of one child -- a daughter who turned 21 last week. She is in college in the San Diego area, as I was, and she can turn her daddy around her little finger pretty much like I could. The lunch time conversations that I have had with her dad have made him a little less hopeful. In a recent conversation, he asked me when I was really independent. When I told him mid to late 20s with the explanation that I chose to hide out in grad school after undergrad, he cringed. Apparently his daughter has been talking about going to grad school.

What really makes me happy to feel like myself once more is the fact that I have the energy to clean up my sty of an apartment. It could be better but unfortunately there is the change of seasons and Boris has been dropping his winter coat across the carpet like nobody's business. It is disgusting. Over the last couple of weeks, I just could not find the energy to deal with it all though.

And because I'm feeling more like me, I've also found time to listen to a lot more music. Like this one. It is a fave of mine from back in the day.



My favorite lines?

"And I can play some ole stuck-up rapper role
And get foul every time you lose control
But that's not my order of operations
So I should win an award for lots of patience
'Cause that's all a fella can have
With a girl who's shootin' up his world like Shaft"

'Cause I kind of have a temper. I've just learned to control it over the years. Really.

Of course, what I would really like to be a part of my life soundtrack is the following.

"Wait a minute...
Something's going wrong.
Someone's on the phone,
Three o'clock in the morning, yeah
Talkin' about how she can make it right, yeah.
Well,
Happiness is when you really feel good about somebody.
Nothing wrong with being in love with someone, yeah.
Oh, baby, love and happiness."

Because the Reverend Al, just like Stevie, can never steer you wrong. Why did I ever get rid of that guy who loved the good Reverend? Oh yeah. Because he treated me like a two-bit ho. Might be why I now have a problem when a guy tells me that my butt is cute (because it is). Good thing that I have control over my temper. Otherwise, there may have been a hot pot of grits involved.

Second time around

I take inspiration from Nat. It kind of bothered me that some of the titles from that previous post were never guessed so know I'm reposting with some hints a la Nat. I hate leaving things undone.

3. "Insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops."
Hint: 1944. Comedy based upon a Broadway play. Sexy leading man.
Arsenic and Old Lace guessed by David.

5. "I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children grow gills."
Hint: 1995. Comedy starring one of the queens of indie film.

6. "How do you tell a child that she was born to be hurt?"
Hint: 1959. Definitely drama. I still have to grab a box of tissue to view this one.
Imitation of Life guessed by Buzzgirl

11. "The whole point of having an answering service is to call them once in a while and see if you've got any messages."
Hint: 1971. Thriller with one of the most badass actors ever.

12. "In my hunt for food I had become the hunted. This time I survived, but I was no longer alone in my universe. I had an enemy, the most terrifying ever beheld by human eyes."
Hint: 1957. Sci-fi. Well, actually Cold War hysteria disguised as sci-fi.

15. "The entire British empire was built on cups of tea, and if you think I'm going to war without one, mate, you're mistaken."
Hint: 1998. Comedy/Thriller containing quite a bit of male hotness. Well, at least in my opinion. And some subtitles.

So come on now. Let's wrap this up once and for all.

Blame Hilly

After reading Hilly's post tonight, I knew I had to steal it.

Here's how it works:

* Pick 15 of your favorite movies
* Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie (or quote them from memory because you are that bad ass)
* Post them on your blog for everyone to guess
* Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed

These are your rules:
* No Googling or using IMDB search functions (Don’t cheat!)
* Leave your answer(s) in the comments

On with the list...

1. "Every now and then say, 'What the fuck.' 'What the fuck' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future."
(Risky Business guessed by Buzzgirl)

2. "Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."
(The Godfather guessed by Jill)

3. "Insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops."

4. "Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues."
(Adventures in Babysitting guessed by Jill)

5. "I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children grow gills."

6. "How do you tell a child that she was born to be hurt?"

7. "She knew everyone that mattered. Everyone loved her."
(Rebecca guessed by Marissa)

8. "Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, you wee motherless mongrel."
(Love Actually guessed by Buzzgirl)

9. "You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels."
(Breakfast at Tiffany's guessed by Hilly)

10. "It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk."
(When Harry Met Sally guessed by Sizzle)

11. "The whole point of having an answering service is to call them once in a while and see if you've got any messages."

12. "In my hunt for food I had become the hunted. This time I survived, but I was no longer alone in my universe. I had an enemy, the most terrifying ever beheld by human eyes."

13. "This is a really volcanic ensemble you're wearing. It's really marvelous!"
(Pretty in Pink guessed by Buzzgirl)

14. "I found myself driving past convenience stores... that weren't on the way home."
(Raising Arizona guessed by Hilly)

15. "The entire British empire was built on cups of tea, and if you think I'm going to war without one, mate, you're mistaken."

And please excuse me if I'm slow to post correct answers. I'll be busy spending my tax return this weekend.

Here we go again

Yep. Back up on the soapbox again. Because I'm a bit peeved. Imagine that. And this time I don't have to write the post and let it marinate. Nope. This post is the result of two posts I have read in the last week. I wrote most of it in my head last night on my way home. After the first post, I was ready to let it go but when I saw the same thing in a second post yesterday? Well, the gloves are off. And the earrings as well.

What's the topic this time? Talking in movie theaters. I have one simple rule. If it's about the movie, then it's perfectly OK. Why? Because it's a part of my culture. And I was a little worried after my reaction to the first post, so I called several friends and family members. And I had an email exchange with another blogger on the topic.

My discussion with the other blogger centered around film as an art form. My argument is that if one were to go to a museum with a friend, one would discuss the art while standing in front of it. The blogger then countered that going to a movie was like going to hear a public speaker. Well, at least two of the people to whom I spoke on the topic confirmed that it is also culturally OK to speak when going to hear a speaker. One of these folks, my aunt, mentioned "call and response." Because how is hearing a speaker any different from hearing the preacher at the church?

And what pisses me off is not that people do not like this behavior. Instead, it's that their statements imply that their way is the "right" way. And even more so, what really pissed me off is that they do not appear to care why people would do this. And that shows a complete lack of cultural sensitivity on their part, in my opinion.

One of the folks to whom I spoke was Kate, my college roomie who got married back in June. She pointed out that when movie theaters were first created, going to the movies was a social event -- and of course, one would speak to others at a social event. She also pointed out that she enjoys the comments from others in the theater because it gives her new perspectives. Isn't that what art is about? Interpreting what the artist has presented given your own experiences? But your experiences may not be the same as another person's and so they can open a door to a world that you may not have seen otherwise.

And then we discussed our college experience. My post-high school educational experiences were in environments in which understanding of others was highly important. I served on numerous committees that made this the focus. People were encouraged to ask questions so that they could better understand one another. I guess that is the heart of the matter for me. When I read certain posts in the PRB and the subsequent comments, I find myself wondering if people are questioning their prejudices. Because we all have prejudices. If you say you don't, you're lying to yourself. It's what we do about these prejudices that makes the difference.

Finally, let's get to my reaction to this all. What I hear when someone makes a statement about how people shouldn't talk in movie theaters is that, once more, I am being asked to assimilate. (And if you have been in a theater in which the people of color are not speaking up? Yeah, they've assimilated. Because when I go to theaters in Berkeley, the audience is often mighty pale and I sit there silently. Because when in Rome... Because how we act when we are in the presence of the paler nation is not necessarily how we are at all times.) Guess what? I'm tired of assimilating. I'm tired of feeling like I have to give up everything that is me to fit in. (If my mother read this, this would be the point at which I would say, "Yes, the older I get, the more radical my thoughts become.") And damned if I haven't assimilated quite a bit. I regularly hear from older relatives how I am the "whitest black person they know." And so I am not going to let others erase the last vestiges of my culture that I hold at this point.

So the next time you hear someone talking in a movie theater, just think to yourself, "There goes the Empress again with her, 'Fuck you and your assimilation! I'm done with changing just because you seem to think that I need to.'" And also know that 2008 is officially the year in which I let people know in what ways they have pissed me off.

Surfin' safari

Here in the Bay, it was a weekend filled with surfing. There were the most excellent guys down at Mavericks. *sigh* I remember back in the day (over ten years ago), when I first heard about this contest and would contemplate calling in sick to work so that I could see the action live. Maybe it's all those years I spent in San Diego that makes me love surfing so much. Maybe it's the way that surfers describe the feeling they get when they connect with the perfect wave. Maybe it comes from too many years of hanging out with guys who make me watch surfing movies. OK. So maybe sometimes I watch them on my own these days.

And this all seemed add some balance to my weekend since I was surfin' the crimson wave, as one of my friends would say. And when I'm feeling that way, my first inclination is to watch a lot of chick flicks and Lifetime. Thus the need for balance.

And I should have realized what was going on when I headed into Trader Joe's. I have years of practice at shopping hungry. The key is to write a list and to stick to it. But I didn't stick to my list on Saturday. For the first time in months, I bought frozen prepared food. Chicken taquitos? In the cart. French onion soup? MUST HAVE! And since I was planning to give Cyndi's fish tacos a try, I had put black beans on the list. Because I needed something to go with the avocados I already had. But once in the store, I thought, "I must have tortilla chips. And if I get those, I'm going to need cheese. Because I might want nachos later in the week."

It's all my fault. I should have looked at the calendar. A former friend used to tell all the other women that she knew that they should all take my approach. Back then, I would head out and rent a bunch of chick flicks. And then I'd head to the grocery store for my favorite foods. There was usually duck pate on the list. Basically the theme seemed to be fatty and salty foods with a few sweets mixed in. And then I would hole up at home with my food and chick flicks. Because I really should not go out in public for those first 24 hours or so. I like to think that I am doing a public service. One of my personal greatest discoveries was that with birth control pills, one can basically dictate when those 24 hours will be. I like Sunday. You can still get some weekend partying in and make it to work without being a raving homicidal fool. OK. So just on either side of that 24 hour window, I can be mildly so.

So what was on the menu on Sunday? I started off with chicken taquitos with guacamole, sour cream, and salsa -- for breakfast. Around lunchtime, there was French onion soup. Late afternoon was time for a crab Louie. Then dinner was the fish tacos with black beans. Yes, I really did eat all of that. Because I get really hungry.

But it's the one day a month during which I really take care of me. If I want to cry hysterically, it's OK. If I want to eat a bunch of "bad" food, that's OK too. Key to this is no contact, or at least minimal contact, with the outside world. Because sometimes we all need to decompress.

Cannibalistic tendencies

As y'all know, I am a Cancer. Symbol? The crab. Friends have made jokes about how I love to eat crab -- eating my own kind and all that. But crabs do eat their own so I guess I fit right in.


Surf and turf.

Things started innocently on Saturday. I took a steak out of the freezer to defrost because I really wanted beef and hadn't had any in quite some time. I probably would have been just as happy with spinach. Because I learned long ago that when I crave beef, what I'm really looking for is iron. Because I can get a wee bit anemic at times. And when I have beef, it has to be bloody.

So while the steak defrosted, I headed out to do laundry (Yes, there is a single machine in my building but I had let things build up to the point that I suddenly discovered that I had four loads of laundry to do. And try fighting it out for that single machine when there are eleven other apartments.) and to do a little grocery shopping.

95% of the time, I shop with a list. I am not allowed to stray from the list unless I suddenly remember a very necessary item, such as toilet paper, that I have forgotten to put on the list. This is what allows me to go shopping when I'm hungry. Usually. The problem was that I needed to pick up some shrimp. And there they were. King crab legs on display, calling to me. So I just had to give in. My only other impulse buy was some Coke so that I could have a cuba libre with my meal. Because that's the only time when I drink Coke. If you give me a 12-ounce can of soda on its own, it usually takes me at least four hours to finish it. I think this stems from the fact that sodas were only available as occasional treats when I was growing up. I drank loads of milk, fruit juice, and water. And tea. When I was nine, I was allowed to add tea to the list of acceptable beverages.

And no, I did not eat all that meat in one sitting. I ate about a third of the steak and half of the claw. Until I went to put the leftover steak away. Then the claw beckoned once more and I finished it off.

All I could think about on Sunday was more crab. Luckily I was meeting a friend for brunch at Crepevine. (Can someone explain to me how their menu is so similar to that at Savor?)


And so I ordered the New Orleans.

But I still wanted more crab. And I needed to stop at the store for some fresh oregano. (The two other stores I had already visited over the weekend were out.) And I knew that there would be more King crab available. Alas, they only had clusters and I really did not want that much. Just a leg or two. And so I passed.

But I'm starting to think that Zoomie has created a monster. As I entered the store on Sunday, I thought of calling this post Bride of Frankenstein -- especially since some mornings, I can have really scary bed hair. But then I was thankful. Because now I don't miss the delay in the start of Dungeness season quite as much.

Oh, and I apologized to Boris when I got home last night. Because he was just being a silly boy cat and really didn't know any better. While I sat at work yesterday, I realized that with my angry shouting that I had scared the bejeezus out of both cats. So there were lots of hugs. And new toys brought out of the cabinet. (I always keep a secret stash of toys for them. Never know when I might want to treat them with something new.) And we tried to bond again. Because I also realized that Boris is probably just a bit confused. He had gotten used to my being around all day and now I'm gone again for hours on end. And then I get home and I'm too tired to really spend time with them. He was just a little kid acting out.

Cue the spaghetti guitar

The Good ...

I'm feeling a lot better after the weekend. The dogs didn't bark that much. I got to read some cool books. Yes, I am back to reading young adult stuff again. I've run out of unread grown-up stuff at home. And I haven't finished reading everything in the various series yet. I started off with the first book in each series. Then I continued with the Charlie Bone stuff when I went to check on Boris & Natasha on Sunday. That reminds me. I probably should re-read The Golden Compass soon. And I checked out a couple of movies as well.

And it's always fun to check out what other folks have hanging on their fridges. I absolutely adore this postcard.


The caption reads, "Here he is! He destroyed my environment, squandered my savings, started a war ... and, ate my porridge."

Oh, and I had something I haven't had in years...


Canned soup.

The Bad ...

Hmmm. Can't really think of anything here right now. Well, except for the old stuff. Still no job but I still have some prospects out there.

And The Ugly

The worst part of the weekend? Bug bites. Painful ones on my right hand. One is on the joint of my thumb. The other is on the tip of my pinkie. So not pleasant.

And that reminds me. I should see about adding some Clint Eastwood to my DVD collection one of these days. Before my dad and my uncles consider disowning me. That and The Godfather Trilogy and maybe some George Carlin.

Still reading

Every week I say to myself, "I should go out and get A Thousand Splendid Suns," but it seems like something always gets in the way. This week I finished the Midnighters series. Next on my list was supposed to be The Poe Shadow. Actually I have already read the first couple of chapters of Poe but had put it on hold to read the other stuff. So I was going to read A Thousand Splendid Suns after Poe. OK. I probably will. It just looks like there will be some other reading in between.

Yesterday I let my mother talk me into leaving home. My first public appearance. Occasionally people gave me strange looks. *sigh* At least my mouth is no longer crooked. An important lesson I learned yesterday is to not leave home without one's painkillers. I ended up out longer than I had thought I would and the painkillers had not been working for hours by the time I got home.

The plan was to go to the movies. The only problem was that we wanted to see two different things. My mother ended up seeing El Cantate while I opted for The Bourne Ultimatum. I think I enjoyed my selection a great deal more than she did hers. She said the best thing about the movie was the soundtrack. I also got to see some cool trailers before my movie.

There was a slight difference in starting/ending times of our selections so we both killed time shopping. She hit various clothing stores while waiting for her movie to start. I went to Barnes & Noble while waiting for hers to end. Mistake. I don't think I have ever walked out of a bookstore empty-handed.

Two years ago, I read two books that I still kind of remember -- The A-List and Sex, Murder and a Double Latte. I received two surprises. Apparently The A-List is now a series of books. And Kyra Davis has a new book out, Passion, Betrayal and Killer Highlights. I couldn't resist the Kyra Davis book and have started reading it. It's much easier to read now too since I had my mother stop by the eye clinic yesterday as well so that I could get my new glasses. Maybe one day I will read the rest of the A-List series but for now I am going to go with the latest Scott Westerfeld series.

And then there was that other thing that I noticed while shopping. I noticed this other series of books and thought, "No, it can't be." It seems that one of the new CW shows for the fall is based on a teen book series. Hmmm.

Well, time to get ready to head out once more. The cat food is getting low and I need to return a pair of shoes. And perhaps a little more grocery shopping.

Fighting boredom

This not working thing was kind of fun at first. Now I spend the day looking for ways in which to keep myself entertained. The height of yesterday was heading out to the store to get some beef for this dish.


Beef with black bean, asparagus, and orange bell peppers.

Today? Well, I'm going to take Jade's advice and head to the movies. Actually I think her words last week were something along the lines of, "Are you crazy? Whenever I have time off, I go to as many movies as possible." It is kind of convenient to have three movie theaters within walking distance. Movies I plan to catch this week are Waitress, Broken English (Love me some Parker Posey.), and You Kill Me.

Last Friday I did manage to see Ratatouille before my dentist appointment. (Loved it but then I'm kind of partial to the folks. Reminds me. I must contact Queenie to get my swag.) I just wish that I had read this first because what a perfect combo. And I've wanted to go to Liaison Bistro for quite some time. Maybe I should have waited some before dumping Musician Boy since I had convinced him that he should take me there. In past years I would be getting my French on by hanging out on Belden Place in San Francisco. Not this year though. A friend is having a birthday party in the East Bay so it looks like I'll be there instead.

What else? Maybe I'll get crazy and head over to the Farmers' Market on Thursday.

Oh, and there is that summer beauty known as "Big Brother 8." Why is it good that I'm not working? Because I can tune into "House Calls," the "Big Brother" web talk show, each morning.

A few bonus items.

Because I watch way too much TV these days, I am now addicted to this song.



Yes, this song is about to replace my previously selected summer theme.

And for Jill, once more.


Don't be fooled by that sweet look. She drew blood shortly after I took this picture.


Here's the other one. I was trying to enjoy my iTunes with the headphones on. Finally he left me alone. Now you see why I am thankful that I have DVR. Because sometimes it's hard to see the TV.

And speaking of iTunes, I was grooving to my old school kind of thing when I decided to listen to "Back to the Hotel." Gotta love my folks from Valley Joe. Imagine my shock when I followed that link to the now defunct label and saw mention of the Surf MCs. For years I was thinking that I dreamed that group. Except that I still own my 12-inch of "Surf or Die." How can you go wrong with rap about being a surfer/skater?

And I am now so feeling the party scene. Two of my favorite DJs/producers are supposedly going to be at DNA on the 27th. Be still my heart! My inner Holly is jumping with joy. Thank goodness I went shopping last week.

In a funk

It seems that I probably managed to alienate most of the folks in my life by the time I went to bed Friday night. (OK. Probably just Queenie and Dumbest. Oh, and it seems that somewhere along the way I goofed on Dumbest's age. He's two years younger than I previously thought.) I'm talented like that.

This meant that the majority of my contact this weekend was of the animal form. Oh, and loads of DVDs. To-date I have made it through at least ten movies. They started off light and funny and eventually became very dark. I don't think those last few helped much. Even if they were rather good. Oh, and there was some reading. I found a copy of Reading Lolita in Tehran on the shelf so I started reading it.

I toyed with the idea of heading out on Saturday night and again on Sunday night. I just can't seem to motivate and to get out of this funk. I think I've been on a downward spiral since about February or so and it's just all starting to catch up with me. By Sunday, part of me wanted to cry but I just couldn't get the tears all the way out. Probably just as well that I stayed in. Because when I go out in this kind of mood, I'm just one evil bitch. No, really. I will sit around looking for the smallest of slights just so that I can have the pleasure of ripping you a new one.

I keep thinking that once the school year is over I can start to pull myself out of this mood. Thank goodness there are only three weeks left.

Getting ready for duty

Back in April, I bought this item in blue when I was at Ikea with my mom. The cats did not seem to take to it. Most mornings I awoke to find it collapsed on the floor. Now apparently Natasha has claimed it as her own. Last night as she was exiting, I discovered why. I found a pen and one of my lighters hidden in the tent. I will have to be more vigilant with my belongings now I see.

I awoke yesterday morning with the best of plans once more. I was going to do something I hadn't done in some time -- go to the movies. I narrowed down my choices to Fay Grim and Waitress. Waitress won out since Fay Grim will be on DVD on Tuesday. (And I'm really excited about it now that I know it's the sequel to Henry Fool, one of the many movies I own.) The big problem is that Waitress is not playing at one of the three theaters near my home. I was going to have to drive. And I goofed on the start time of the movie. By the time I was ready to go, it was fifteen minutes to show time. So I decided to put it off. Maybe next weekend.

And speaking of next weekend, I have signed up for duty once more. Yep, next weekend I will be watching Dumb and Dumber once more. There have been additions to the house in the form of fish. So last night I went by to receive my directions. This was after a stop at Michael's to buy the various art supplies I would need this week in order to get ready for open house.

Have I mentioned how I wish it was Friday already? Well, I do. Even if it means a weekend filled with Dumb and Dumber. Because for the first time in weeks, the boy should be in town for the weekend. And I'll be getting paid for watching the critters.

Weekends mean food

Saturday was a beautiful day. But sleep seemed more important. And then Rach took over my brain and I watched The Wedding Date again.

Sunday was a lot more productive. After awaking in the wee morning hours (6:30 a.m.) and watching the horror of the accident on TV, I finally decided that it was time to motivate. So it was off to the kitchen to remove the various science experiments from the fridge before going off to the grocery store. The true highlight of my grocery shopping was when I was leaning over to check out some flowers and some guy felt the need to say, "Hi," like he wanted to meet me. My thoughts were, "I know you were just looking at my butt. And it's 9:30 in the morning. And you are so not cute. Please go away."

So there was more lazing around the house until I had to get motivated to go to this stitch 'n' bitch -- one of the true highlights of my weekend. Because I finally got to meet BWB in person. We stitched. We bitched. It was fab.

On my way home, I kept pondering what to do with that pound of shrimp I had picked up earlier in the day. Then it struck me that all I was missing was the trinity. That would be the Creole/Cajun one if you're wondering. Because of course, I already had some hot links and some leftover chicken in the fridge. And tomato paste and stewed tomatoes. (By the way, can someone explain how someone -- me -- who does not really like tomatoes all that much managed to have all kinds of tomato choices in the fridge in the cabinet?) What I ended up with is this.



Yes, the rice is sticky but I expected that since I usually only buy medium grain. I do know that I had folks salivating over my leftovers at lunchtime in the staff room today. And now I'm off to consume more. Awww, crap! Knew I was supposed to stop at the store tonight. Jambalaya? Check. Salad? Check. Wine? Check. French bread? Nope. *sigh* Maybe tomorrow.

Someone asked for it

The boy is in Lost Wages this weekend. And it's raining. So the cats and I curled up in bed to watch chick flicks. Well, I did -- the movie watching that is. Boris is not really interested in movies. Natasha likes action stuff. She loved Transporter 2. So the two of them napped a lot. And whenever Natasha found a really choice spot, Boris would bother her until she gave up the spot for him. He's such a bully.

And then I got hungry. But I was feeling lazy. Hunger eventually won out.



Yep, calamari and fries. And yes, that is black pepper on the fries. A college roommate got me hooked on pepper and mustard on my fries. Sometimes instead of sprinkling the pepper on the fries, I just dump a bunch in the mustard and stir.



Then on Sunday I decided to continue my bonding with the skillet. Part of a steak and a scramble with green onions, red bell pepper, tomatoes and cheese. This is what I usually eat on Sunday mornings if I'm not having chicken hash with poached eggs. Either way, Sunday morning is not complete without a cup of chai.

I'm starting to think that weekends are all about fried foods.


And since it's Monday, I am sure that I will be seeing more of the above throughout the day. This is followed by my announcement that the dance is not appropriate. For school. For their age. Just not appropriate.

I couldn't resist

Once I conquered my bedroom, I realized that the rest of my apartment looked shabby in comparison. I've gotten as far as the living room. There is still some clutter on the bookcases but that will be a piece of cake now that I've taken care of everything else. On today's list is a complete scrubbing of the bathroom and kitchen.



This did not stop me from entering the kitchen last night though. I finally had my artichokes with hummus. This was followed by potato leek soup. I think today I'll try it with some crumbled bacon on top. Because bacon makes everything better. Oh, and I made bread pudding as well. They didn't have croissants in the store so I picked out the bread that I thought was of the closest consistency and then let it get stale. This vision started when I noticed the strawberries in the store. Well, actually I went looking for raspberries but ended up settling on the strawberries. If there had been raspberries, I would have baked them into the bread pudding instead of serving them on the side. This morning I also got around to making the creme anglaise. Because that's how I envisioned the whole thing -- bread pudding topped with creme anglaise and fresh sliced strawberries. (And yes, this is what I ate for breakfast. Along with a mug of chai.) If I keep up like this, then this summer this may very well end up being a food blog.

But since it isn't, let me move onto other things. I first saw this at Kapgar's. Then Hilly posted it. So of course, I finally had to give in.

THE MOVIE MEME

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.
Where to start?

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.
Purple Rain.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Ed Harris. Ever since The Abyss, I've had a thing for him.

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Jim Carrey. Because of this, I was torn over The Truman Show. As you can see from my above answer, it should have been a definite must-see. So I debated it some before I actually went to see it.

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.
Eurotrip.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Duh. Grease. Still own the soundtrack. And my fave bar in North Beach? They have it on the jukebox. One of the bartenders used to play it at closing time.

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
I leave the singing to my mother. If it has a song that she knows, she is guaranteed to sing along. Heck. This is the woman who sings along to the Muzak when shopping. Really embarrassing. Especially when I'm trying to act like I don't know her and she yells across the store, "Where are you going? Yes, you in the blue sweater. What's the matter? Don't want to admit to people that I'm your mother." So no singing.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
Rebecca.

9. Name a movie that you own.
I wouldn't even know where to begin. The latest purchase was Cinderfella.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Mark Wahlberg.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
Of course. The last time I can remember was a double feature with the 'rents when I was a kid -- Cooley High and Mandingo. I was supposed to be asleep by the time they showed the second one but I wasn't. Still disturbed by that one to this day.

12. Ever made out in a movie?
Isn't that a rite of passage?

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.
Devil in a Blue Dress. Cinema Paradiso.

14. Ever walked out of a movie?
No, but there's that one rental I've never made it through. Every time I have rented Shakespeare in Love, I end up falling asleep at the exact same point.

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
Terms of Endearment.

16. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?
Clerks 2. Sad, huh?

17. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
Suspense, classics.

18. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

19. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
I'm sure there is one but I have obviously blocked it completely. So let's leave it there in the recesses of my mind where it belongs.

20. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
Another hard one. I tend to enjoy what others find weird. Thus the reason why my mother and I rarely go to the movies together. But I'll take a stab at this one -- Village of the Giants.

21. What is the scariest movie you've seen?
I think I am going to have to agree with Hilly on this one -- Poltergeist. Saw in high school. We all left the theater freaked out.

22. What is the funniest movie you've seen?
Raising Arizona. The Last Supper also makes me squeal with joy, but in a different kind of way.