Thank you, Laurie

The age spectrum and where one should date on it have always been kind of assumptions for me. It's also a topic upon which I have had numerous conversations in the past.

I met a woman in a bar who said the range should be plus or minus three years. Her theory was that you would share a lot of cultural references with someone within this range as you were both in high school at the same time. If you go outside of this range, it is a bit more difficult. You might be presented with blank stares when you mention a favorite song or movie from your youth. I like to think of this as the Hey Nineteen effect. It just dawned on me that I may have lost some of you with that reference.

My college roommate feels that one should only date those within a ten-year span of one's self. I have generally stuck to this rule. Of course this only applies once one has reached one's thirties. To do so in one's twenties could lead to criminal prosecution.

In college I dated one guy who was about eight or nine years older than I. He could be condescending at times. I don't think he did it on purpose. He just assumed that because I was younger, there were things I just wouldn't know. This has been the common experience in dating those who are older.

The other thing about dating older in one's thirties is that you start coming across the men who have been burned one time too many. I went out with this one guy earlier this year who was about five years older than I. I think he was afraid that women were trying to take advantage of him because he said that although he was willing to pay on dates, he expected the woman to pick up the check just as often. Then again, maybe he was cheap. OK. He was cheap. I stopped returning his calls after he told me that $25 was a ridiculous amount to pay for a bottle of wine.

The guys who have managed to stay around longer have always been younger. The last guy I seriously dated is four years younger than I am. We broke up years ago (he has this issue about moving out of his parents's house) but we have remained friends. Usually when I head to SoCal, we head out to dinner and a movie -- his treat. What's impressive is that he doesn't even have a job. (That was another issue with him. It also explains why he lives with his parents.)

I dated another guy who was eight years younger for a few months. He was a carpenter from Ireland. I know it was the accent that sold me. The relationship ended when he moved to Australia. It was nice being around someone who actually cared about my opinion.

A couple of years ago, my mom called me after watching an episode of Oprah. The whole show was on how women should start dating down the age spectrum instead of up it. My mom was excited and thought that she was telling me something new. I calmly looked at her and said, "Most of the guys I have dated over the past few years have been younger."

I guess it all goes back to this young man I met about five years ago. He was a bartender in my then favorite bar. Everytime I came in, he would try to ask me out and I would decline. When he asked me why, I replied, "Honey, you are just too young." (He was 21.) The next time he saw me, he said, "You know what the problem is? You keep dating guys around your age. They don't know how to treat women right. Us younger guys do." His explanation was that older guys are more concerned about themselves than the women they date, whereas younger guys will go all out to make sure you're happy. Maybe it's because they are just so happy you are with them.