The idiot box

I had another post all ready to go for today but then I started thinking. I often hint around about my TV viewing but rarely do an entire post on it. Well, when one is looking like Quasimodo's cousin and is knocked out on painkillers, there aren't too many choices in entertainment. By the way, I tried valiantly to have yesterday be my first vicodin-free day. I made it to 8:00 p.m. And I think that's pretty good.

So my TV viewing. On Mondays, I start off with "Hell's Kitchen." I just hope that Rock wins it next week. Bonnie has always struck me as kind of pathetic. I keep wondering if Ramsay has kept her around because of her cuteness. This has been followed my "Making the Band 4." When Diddy announced the online voting, I had a feeling of deja vu. Did not "Making the Band 3" drag on for two seasons? And now "My Boys" is back. I was feeling for PJ this week. Man or job? So wrong. But I was happy to see the return of Trouty.

Tuesdays are all about "On the Lot," "Big Brother 8," and "Damages." I don't know why I still watch "On the Lot." Granted many of the shorts are great but overall I find the experience to be way too painful. BB8? I cannot begin to explain my love of that show. My only regret is that I have not been catching "House Calls," the online talk show discussing the events of the show, on a regular basis. Even more sucky this year is their slowness in posting past episodes of the show on the website. And "Damages"? Makes Glenn Close look pretty normal in Fatal Attraction, if you ask me. It also means that I have to watch because I must know how it all ends.

"So You Think You Can Dance" is starting to wind down -- one of my Wednesday guilts. At this point, I am loving Sabra and Lacey. I was heartbroken to see Sara voted off last week. I guess I should have actually voted. I follow this with "Top Chef." There are way too many personalities on "Top Chef." Each week I go back and forth on whom I like.

Thursday is one of my favorite days of the week. There's some BB8 action. I also get to see the "So You Think You Can Dance" result show. But more importantly, I get to see "Burn Notice." There are not enough adjectives for this show. And I like to think that it has something for everyone. Then there's the show that has ruined most nursery rhymes for me -- "Nick Cannon's Wild 'n' Out." You've gotta love a show that gives you a hip-hop version of "Yankee Doodle." And we won't even talk about what they did to the "Alphabet Song." But now Nick is on the side because I have to see "Mad Men." The sad thing about this show, though, is that I have to be in the totally right mood. Because I know that the show is going to be filled with the sexual and racial stereotypes that ran rampant in the 1950s. But in a strange way, it it completely refreshing to hear characters freely speak "their" minds.

Friday used to be about going out. In the 90s Fox changed this for me by scheduling "The X-Files" on Fridays. Now USA has done the same in their scheduling of "Monk" and "Psych." And if I'm lucky, they follow up the episodes with a rerun of "House." I like to think of it all as the perfect triple play.

Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, right? Nope. I start off my day around noon or so. VH1 has "Rock of Love," "Hogan Knows Best," and "Scott Baio is 45 ... and Single." The first show has me wanting to bitchslap a bunch of bimbos. Even more so than "Flavor of Love" did. And Hogan? I keep waiting to see if Linda is going to file for divorce. Scott? Who cannot resist that train wreck of a life? I just keep tuning in to see when he will wise up and dump his friend, Johnny. So that takes care of Sunday afternoon.

Sunday night I have to see BB8 because I have to know who will be potentially thrown out the next week. (OK. I'll admit it. Sometimes I give into the online spoilers.) But I also get to see "The Dead Zone." And recently I have actually started to watch Lifetime -- "Side Order of Life" and "State of Mind." I knew that the second show had to be at least OK because it stars Lili Taylor. The other show is more like a guilty pleasure -- like watching a soap opera or a novella.

So there's the rundown on my TV viewing. Much less painful than the other stuff in my head currently. Like remembering telling my mom last night that I really was not in the mood of doing a daily dissection of why my old job still has not contacted me. Or my conversation with my aunt about what makes me happy. When I told her that I realized that I had made some bad choices in my past because I was trying to make other people happy, she asked, "Well, you know you can't blame these other people for your choices, don't you?" Ummm. Yeah, those years in therapy were all about me blaming other people and not myself. The other day my mother was applauding me for being the bigger person and forgiving my aunt for all the smack she said about me behind my back. (My mother still hasn't forgiven her.) I like to think that I am the better person. I also like to think that her cancer is her return from the crap that she has sent out into the universe. And after our conversation last night, I, the person who likes to see the best in everything, hoped that she dies a slow and painful death from the cancer. Because at this point it would seem only fitting. But then wishing that upon her means that bad things will happen to me. So I don't really mean that. But perhaps my mother does. Honestly.