Sunday, March 4, 2007

Very bad

I discovered yesterday that I was going to have to call Retail Boy. Seems he left his watch. Boris pointed this out to me as he thought the watch was a new toy.

This brought on a whole new slew of problems. Did I still have Retail Boy's phone number? Because last summer when I got the new phone, I also had to get a new SIM card. I had figured that it was a good time to do some housecleaning so I didn't transfer all of the numbers. Then true panic set in. What is his name anyway? No matter how hard I tried to think, I just couldn't remember it. I knew if I saw it, I'd remember though. So I started scrolling through my phone's directory. Fortunately he is near the beginning of the alphabet. Otherwise it could have been quite a few panic-filled minutes.

It wasn't all panic-filled though. There was also the realization that some things had not changed. Retail Boy still worships the ground upon which I walk. I will never like him as much as he likes me. Part of me feels kind of bad for this but is it really a bad thing? I mean, doesn't this make him easier to manipulate?

I awoke from my nap yesterday feeling as if something was missing. I had done the requisite caffeine but was still a bit off-kilter. Then I remembered the crucial grease course had been skipped. And there wasn't anything sufficiently greasy enough available in the kitchen. This would mean going out but I just didn't have the energy.

So I called Retail Boy. Told him he was missing a watch. He mentioned something about getting some dinner before heading over. Oh no. I gave him specific instructions. I really didn't care what he decided to do about his dinner but on his way over I needed him to stop at McD's because I needed large fries and a Coke. Oh, and throw in a burger as well. (I used to love McD's as a kid but now I only seem to crave it after a cocktail-fueled evening.) And of course since he worships me, he was happy to oblige. In the back of my mind, I thought of it as payback for that time he showed up demanding food. I figure a few more of these errands and we'll be even.

Still didn't watch the movie so I guess that means I'll see him again. Instead we watched the ANTM marathon on MTV. There is something appealing about a guy who will scream at the TV with you, "You are such a bitch. I hope they eliminate you soon." OK. I didn't yell that last line because I had seen the shows before and remembered who was eliminated on each episode.

So now I'm trying to think of other things to make him do. Because I'm evil like that. I welcome any suggestions...

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