I started off this weekend feeling a bit manic. It took me some time to figure out why. And then it dawned on me. My mother arrives back in town on Wednesday night. And now I keep hearing the Wicked Witch of the West's theme music.
So at some point today I must do a bunch of fun stuff. Like get rid of the junk mail at her house. Charge the car battery. Relight the pilot lights. You know really fun stuff. For which I will get chewed out if I fail to complete even the smallest thing.
There used to be a time when my digestive system would hold a protest for about two weeks before her arrival. Perhaps that's why I used to weigh five pounds less. Now I just sit around feeling perturbed by the inconvenience. Because here's the surprise. My mother thinks the world revolves around her and that we are all here to serve her. Well, maybe not y'all but definitely me.
The worst of this all is that she has chosen to show up during my spring break. Grrrr. So I am trying to plan as much as possible for myself so that I can spend as little time as possible with her. I've gotten pretty good at this over the years. Not surprising since this is a woman who called me every kind of a bitch when I was in high school. Seriously. The name-calling has stopped but I do believe that she relishes in trying to tell me how I can improve my life. Because I'm so messed up.
So now I'm going to go back to my prone position and keep reminding myself of what my aunts tell me -- twisted as they may be in their own right. "I am wonderful and she is just merely jealous."